Scars of the Past
by meowkoshka
Summary: "Everyone has a past Hannah, yours is just a little more visible." Hannah Kane is in the sky box. Relieved to be away from her past, but afraid for her future. Until everything changes and she is sent to the ground. A Bellamy Blake x OC Story. I do not own any characters or plot lines associated with the 100. I do make direct quotes from episodes.
1. Chapter 1

_She was running through the corridor of the Ark, guards hot on her trail. She was out of breath but she didn't dare slow down. If she did, they would catch her._

 _Finally, she reached her destination. She walked into the small hallway before the airlock door. She sealed herself in the chamber and just as she was about to open the door to space, the guards approached._

 _"_ _Don't take another step!" Or I'll do it!" she yelled._

 _One step forward with his hands up. "You don't want to do this, Hannah."_

 _She shook her head, hand hovering over the control pad._

 _"_ _C'mon, lets just talk about this."_

 _"_ _No!" she yelled, looking into the face of the guard. "Marcus, all you're going to do is stop me. Put me back in lock up with the others. Wait until I'm eighteen and then float me."_

 _"_ _That's not true!"_

 _"_ _You're lying!" she went to press the button._

 _"_ _WAIT! Think about your daughter! Your daughter!"_

 _Hannah froze once again. "She deserves better than me." With that, she slammed hard onto the button, the outer door to the ship opening. Hannah was sucked out into oblivion._

The all too familiar buzzer, indicating the door to my solitary cell had been opened, woke me from my sleep.

"Prisoner 3-2-0," Marcus said as he stepped in.

"You know you can just call me by my name, Dad."

"This is protocol, Hannah. Stick out your right arm."

"What are you doing?"

My dad reached into a box to pull out a metal bracelet.

"Dad, I've passed all my evaluations. I haven't had any incidents. I've been good!"

"Just cooperate."

I held my arm to my chest. "Not until you tell me what's going on!"

Outside, I heard Clarke yelling. My father was still bent over the box with the bracelets. I took the opportunity to run.

When I passed the threshold of my door, I looked out to see all one hundred of the juvenile prisoners being rounded up, similar bracelets on their arms. Looking to my right, Clarke and I made eye contact for a moment. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she slumped over in her mother's arms.

"Abby, what is going on?" I cried.

After laying Clarke on a stretcher that the guards had prepared, Abby walked over to my, scolding Marcus when he stepped out of my cell. "Why didn't you just tell her?"

"I thought she would just get freaked out."

"See how well that worked."

"What is going on?" I yelled out again.

Abby took my arms in her hands, rubbing soothing touches with her thumbs. "You're going to Earth."

"What?"

Abby reached out and picked up a small bag that would rest on my hip. "Here is more than enough medication to last you for the first few weeks. There will be more of it in Mt. Weather. We'll be dropping you near there. But you'll be over prepared. So you have nothing to worry about, okay? You've been doing so well. Take care of yourself, okay?"

I nod, tears in my eyes.

"Hannah, hold out your arm." My father said. I winced as four needles pierced through the scarred tissue of my wrist.

I looked up at him for a moment. I saw the exhaustion and ice in his eyes. The years of him being Commander of the Guard have made him cold. When I was first growing up, he had such warmth and love. But that Marcus Kane is gone.

"Bye dad." I said softly.

He simply nodded at me, turned on his heel and left.

Abby placed a hand behind m shoulder and walked me into the line of prisoners being sent to Earth.

Earth…I'm going to Earth.

* * *

Clarke was seated in between Wells and I, still unconscious from the sedative when we took off. When she came to, Wells was the first to address her.

"Welcome back," he said as she winced at the bracelet on her wrist.

She looked up and glared at him. "Wells, why the hell are you here?"

"When I found out they were sending prisoners to the ground, I got myself arrested. I came for you!"

Clarke was just about to respond when Chancellor Jaha's face lit up on the screen.

He began explaining everything Abby told this morning. Kids were yelling out insults and snide comments as he talked. Clarke rolled her eyes. I knew she would want to listen.

All of a sudden, a young boy with a green beanie, Finn Collins, floated down on his back.

"Spacewalker!" a bunch of kids cried out.

Clarke rolled her eyes again. "You're the idiot who wasted a month of oxygen on an illegal spacewalk."

"But it was fun." He retorted. "I'm Finn."

Two other boys began unbuckling themselves to float with Finn.

"Stay in your seats!" Clarke yelled out.

All of a sudden the drop ship thrashed about, the lights flickering. The boys who had gotten out of their seats were thrown backwards.

"Finn!" Clarke yelled.

"Clarke, I have to tell you something!" Wells yelled out. "I'm sorry I got your father arrested."

I was about to tell Wells to save it, but Clarke yelled, cutting me off.

"You didn't get him arrested, you got him executed!"

Finally, we felt the rockets boost in and we settled ourselves roughly onto the ground.

Clarke was the first one out of her seat, heading down the ladder.

"Just back it up guys!" We heard a man yell.

"Stop!" Clarke yelled back.

Wells and I looked at each other quickly before getting out of our seats, pushing through the crowds to get down to Clarke. We could hear only snippets of conversation.

I beat Wells down to the first floor, just in time to see a young girl with brown hair walk tentatively out of the ship, a man in a guard uniform watching her.

She jumped down onto the grass. Everyone was silent.

"We're back bitches!" she yelled out.

Everyone suddenly erupted in excitement and ran out of the ship, some crying, some rolling in the grass, others just looking up at the trees around them.

I hung back in the ship, feeling to make sure I had my little pack on me. I reached in and took out one of the bottles, pouring a pill into my hand, and quickly swallowed it, shoving the bottle back in the bag, making sure no one saw me.

"You coming?" Wells called out.

I nodded; zipping my bag and following Wells out onto the ground.

The ground was soft under my shoes, so different than the hard metal floor of my cell in solitary, than all the floors in the Ark. I took off my boots and sock, allowing my bare feet to feel the soft grass, the blades tickling in between my toes.

I inhaled and looked around before saying to Wells. "Indeed bitches, we are back."


	2. Chapter 2

"We got problems," Wells said as he and I approached Clarke who was huddled over a map. "The communications system is dead."

"I went to the roof, a dozen panels are missing; the heat friend the wires." I added.

"Well all that matters right now is getting to Mount Weather," Clarke said gesturing to the map.

As she was explaining things to us, a kid with big goggles approached us. "Cool, a map. Is there a bar? I'll buy you a beer." Wells pushed him back saying, "Do you mind?"

"Woah, hey hey hey!" a kid said and came forward with a whole crowd of boys. "Hands off of him, he's with us."

"Relax," Wells replied. "We're just trying to figure out where we are."

"We're on the ground," the guard called over. "That not good enough for you?"

"We need to find Mount Weather," Wells explained. "You heard my father's message, that has to be our first priority."

"Screw your father!" the girl next to the guard said, his sister I think.

"What?" she continued on. "You think you're in charge here? You…and your little princess," she gestured to Clarke.

At this point, I had begun moving myself away, backing into the shadows, seeing every way this could turn into major conflict.

"And whoever you are." The girl continued point and drawing everyone's attention towards me.

"Leave Hannah out of this." Clarke said stepping forward. Great, she told them my name. "Do you think we care who's in charge here? We need to get to Mount Weather. Not because the Chancellor said so, but the longer we wait, the hungrier we'll get, and the harder this'll be."

"Besides," Clarke continued looking back at me for a moment. "There are other important supplies we need to get from there. How long do you think we'll last? We're looking at a 20-mile trek. If we want to get there before dark, we need to leave. Now."

"I got a better idea," the guard said stepping forward. "Why don't you go three go? Find everything for us. Let the privileged do the hard work for a change."

"You're not listening!" Wells called out.

The kid who defended the goggles boy, stepped forward, "Look everybody, the Chancellor of Earth!" He pushed Wells over, Clarke rushing to get involved but another boy held her back. I began to climb up the side of the drop ship.

As I reached the top, I saw Finn sitting and looking down at the situation below.

"Its not fair what they're doing," he said to me getting up.

"I got it." I replied and slid back down the side, jumping in front of the boy before he could take a swing at Wells. "Gonna hit a girl?" I asked.

"One of Nigel's girls?" he replied. "Hell ye—"

Before he could finish, I socked him in the nose.

"Hey!" People began pushing and shoving.

Clarke finally jumped onto a tree stump and yelled out. "Enough!"

Everyone stopped, silent. Finn jumped down from the side to watch her. The guy, John Murphy, I now recognized, was leaning over holding a blood nose.

"Wells and I are leaving to get supplies from Mount Weather. If you want to come, fine, if not, fine. But we're leaving now."

Finn stepped forward next to Wells. The guard's sister wrestled out of his grip and stepped forward to join them. The goggles kid and his friend stepped up. I went to step up but Clarke stopped me. "You need to stay back and cool off. And take care of his nose."

"What?" I replied, throwing my hands up. "Clarke you know that I have to come." Leaning in closer I whispered. "I need to get more medicine. Your mom gave me enough, but I need to get the rest."

"You think I'd forget about that?" Clarke responded quietly.

I stepped back, submissive. "Fine." Looking over to Murphy I said, "Come with me. Let me fix that." He reluctantly followed, a few of hic lackeys close behind. Clarke and her team walked over towards Mount Weather.

"Sit here," I said directing him towards a log. Looking around, I noticed some stray cloth from the drop ship. I tore some, rolled it up and held it to the kid's nose. He winced as I applied pressure. Picking up some moss from a tree, I used that to wipe the excess blood from his face.

"Guess you paid attention in Earth skills," he muttered.

"Never went." I replied, finishing. "Look. I'm sorry. Wells is my friend. And Clarke hates him, so I'm the only friend he's got at the moment. I look out for him."

"You know my father begged for mercy, before Well's father pushed him out of the airlock chamber." He replied getting up.

"I'm sorry," I said reaching out my hand. "I'm Hannah."

"Whatever," he said standing up and leaving, his followers close behind.

"His name is Murphy," the guard said walking up behind me. "John Murphy."

I rolled my eyes. "I know."

"You have a good punch." The guard said.

"I was looking out for my friend."

He nodded. "I'm Bellamy."

"Hannah." I took his outstretched hand and shook it. "My father is head guard, so I know most of the people who are part of it. Yet, you don't look familiar."

"Uhh yeah," he said scratching his head.

"Granted, I've been in solitary for the past two years so I'm out of the loop." My eyes widened as soon as the words left my mouth. I turned away in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I told you that."

"I borrowed the jacket to get on the ship, to look after my sister, Octavia." He answered. "I have people to look out for as well."

I turned over my shoulder and nodded.

"See you around, Hannah." Bellamy said and walked away.

I looked over my shouler once again and watched as he began talking to some other boys. I walked back behind the drop ship, found a small patch of grass and laid down, looking up at the sky above me…

 _"How long have you been having feelings like this?" Abby asked me._

 _I shrugged and looked out the small window at the vast, empty, space._

 _"Hannah, if you don't talk to me, I can't help you."_

 _"Maybe, I don't want your help." I said, jumping up. "Maybe I was trying to solve the problem on my own, and you guys just made it worse. Locking me up in here…my own father." My voice drifted off at the end._

 _"Well you broke the law, Hannah. Big time."_

 _"Yeah…"_

 _"But talk to me more about your father, Marcus."_

 _I sat back down and looked once more out the window. "I don't want to talk."_

 _Abby stood up. "I'm prescribing you medication. A guard will come at the allotted time to administer it to you."_

 _"I refuse medication."_

 _"Well, that's not your decision to make.  
Abby left the room._

I woke up to the smell of fire. Getting up quickly, I ran around to the edge of camp and saw Bellamy with a metal rod, sticking it underneath a girl's wrist and clunking something off. Looking closer, I saw a pile of metal bracelets in the fire.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Murphy jutted forward and opened his mouth, but Bellamy cut him off.

"We're liberating ourselves."


	3. Chapter 3

The following morning, I was woken up to the sound of yelling. I ran to the gate to see Clarke, Finn and the Asian kid carrying Octavia, whose leg was bleeding, and Wells.

"Octavia!" Bellamy called running towards her.

"Where's the kid with the goggles?" I asked running forward to help Bellamy sit Octavia down.

"It turns out when the last man from the ground died on the Ark, he wasn't the last Grounder." Finn replied sitting.

"Well did you get any food?" Murphy asked.

Clarke shook her head. "Jasper was hit before we made it to Mount Weather. They took him."

Everyone was silent for a moment before Clarke stepped forward. She grabbed Murphy's wrist. "Where is your wristband?"

Murphy just smirked.

Clarke turned around and approached Bellamy. "How many?"

Bellamy just smirked.

"Twenty-four and counting." Murphy answered.

"You idiots." Clarke began shaking her head. "Life support on the Ark is failing! They need to know the ground is survivable again, and we need their help against whoever is out there. If you take off your wristband, you're not just killing them," More quietly she continued. "You're killing us."

"We're stronger than they think," Bellamy began stepping forward. "If they come down, she'll have it good. How many of you can say the same?" He paused as people looked at the ground. "Those wristbands say you're criminals; but you're not criminals! You're survivors, fighters! The Grounders should be afraid of us!"

I found myself being drawn into Bellamy as he spoke. _He's right,_ I thought. _I'm not a criminal. I never was one! But I got locked up because they thought I wasn't fit for society._

I was brought from my thoughts when Clarke grabbed my arm, bringing me into step with her and the Asian boy. "This is Monty," Clarke said. I nodded, "Hannah."

"We're going after Jasper." Clarke said.

Clarke pointed out things for Monty and I to grab before kneeling on the floor to gather things herself. Halfway through, she stopped and put her head in her hands. Slowly I stood up and knelt down touching her shoulder softly. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. I smiled softly, "We'll find him."

Clarke nodded, sniffling and wiping away at her tears.

"There you are," We heard Wells call out. Clarke swallowed back her emotions and took on the stone face of a leader. _Like my father..._ I thought but quickly shook the thought away. _Clarke is nothing like my father._

Clarke must have picked up on my expression because she turned to me with concern. "Are you feeling ok?" I looked up surprised. "Yeah, yeah. Fine. Just.."

"Thinking?" Clarke asked, placing a hand on my shoulder she leaned in. "Did you take your medication this morning?" she whispered.

My eyes widened in shock. I looked to make sure Monty wasn't close by. "N-no." I fumbled to get the small bottle out of the small pack on my hip. "I haven't forgotten in so long.." I said after swallowing the pills discreetly.

"Hannah, you are no where near the situation you were in on the Ark. People came and administered your medication."

I nodded, smiling softly before standing to greet Wells. "When my father said they didn't leave us anything, he wasn't kidding." he said looking at the sparse room.

Clarke turned and grabbed his arm. I gasped and turned when I saw the bloody slash. "Its just a scratch." he said.

"And your wristband is missing." I added on, grabbing his wrist.

"You're making friends fast." Clarke replied. "Keep it covered. It could get infected."

"Nice pack," I commented touching the contraption Wells had constructed.

"Seat belts and insulation. I also packed part of the parachute, I figured we could use it to carry Jasper-"

"Good. Give it to someone else. You're not coming with us."

"My ankle's fine."

"Its not your ankle Wells, its you."

"Are you guys ready to go?" Monty asked hopping down from the ladder connecting to the second floor of the drop ship.

"Yeah," Clarke said. "Wells made a parachute to carry Jasper. He's gonna stay behind."

Wells rolled his eyes before handing the parachute over to Monty. "Clarke."

"Wells," I said, touching his shoulder as Clarke walked forward. "Give her time."

"I know, I just. I have to think that this is worth it."

"What's worth it?" I asked. "Why does she actually hate you, Wells?"

Wells shook his head. "No reason. You know, I'm going to bury the bodies of the two boys who died in the landing. Be safe."

I nodded, before running to follow Clarke out.

"This isn't an adventure Clarke," Finn said. "Its a suicide mission." He walked away, rolling his eyes before climbing the outside of the drop ship.

"Not to be a downer Clarke but we're gonna need more than the three of us to carry Jasper back." I said.

"It's not going to just be three of us." Clarke replied and walked over to Bellamy who was caring for Octavia's leg.

"You guys leaving?" Octavia asked. "I'm coming."

"No, no. No way. Not again." Bellamy said pushing her to sit back down.

"He's right. Your leg is just gonna slow us down." Clarke said. She turned to Bellamy. "I'm here for you. I hear you have a gun."

Bellamy lifted his shirt to reveal a handgun tucked into his jeans. I looked at him warily.

"Good. Follow me."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because you want all the others to follow you, and right now they're only thinking one of us is scared."

"Murphy. Come with me." Bellamy said pulling a jacket on. "Atom. My sister doesn't leave this camp. Is that clear?"

"I don't need a babysitter." Octavia piped.

"Anybody touches her, they answer to me."

Atom nodded.

"Let's go." Bellamy said and he walked off into the forest.

Clarke and Monty took the lead with Bellamy and Murphy in the middle. I walked slowly in the back.

"Since when are we in the rescuing business, huh?" Murphy asked.

"The Ark thinks the Prince is dead. Once they think the Princess is, too; they'll never come down. I'm getting that wristband, even if I have to cut off her hand to do it."

"But that would leave me. Aren't I one of the privileged?" I asked, making my presence known to Bellamy and Murphy.

Murphy rolled his eyes and turned around. "Well rumor has it, you're adopted. So you're not really royalty."

"What?" I stopped.

"What's the hold up?" Clarke asked running over to Bellamy, Murphy, and I.

"You don't know?" Murphy asked. "And what's in the fanny pack?" He asked reaching for it.

"Don't touch it!" I called jumping back.

"Hey!" Clarke said running in between Murphy and I. "What is going on?"

"Murphy says I'm adopted."

Clarke looked almost guilty for a second. "Where did you get that from?"

"I don't know, where did I?" he asked approaching Clarke.

"That's enough," Bellamy said stepping forward and pushing Murphy back. "Can we just rescue this kid and get back to camp?"

Clarke nodded and began walking, Murphy following behind. Bellamy grabbed my arm softly. "Are you ok?" he asked.

I looked into his eyes and was surprised to see genuine concern. "I'm fine." I said shaking his hand off. "Let's go get Jasper."

"Hey wait for me!" Finn called running to catch us.

"Better late than never," Clarke said.

Finn ran ahead and they began talking quietly, Monty and I falling into step beside each other.

"So what really is in the bag?" Monty asked quietly.

I looked over to him for a moment and then back ahead.

"OK, sorry. Its personal." Monty raised his hands.

"Look its not that I don't trust you.." I began.

"I get it," Monty continued on. "I shouldn't have asked."

We walked in silence for a few more steps before Monty spoke up again.

"He's like a brother to me, you know?"

"Hm?"

"Jasper." Monty said. "He's not my brother but every memory I have, Jasper's there."

I smiled a little from the corner of my mouth. "We'll find him, okay?"

"My parents were in charge of all the herbs that would be used for pharmaceuticals, so I had access to them, if you know what I mean. Well," Monty laughed before he continued. "I forgot to replace what we took. When they came in we were so high we didn't even know what was happening to us."

Monty laughed again before going silent.

"You're not gonna cry are you?" I teased bumping his shoulder lightly.

Monty rolled his eyes, smiling.

"Hey!" Finn called up from ahead.

We all ran forward to meet him. He was standing with Clarke, both of them soaking wet, standing near a trail of fresh blood. "We're close." he said.

"His goggles!" Monty said, stumbling forward and grabbing them from Clarke's hands.

"How do we know this is the right way?" Murphy asked.

"Spacewalker thinks he's a tracker." Bellamy responded.

"Its called cutting sign," Monty said. "Fourth year Earth skills. Finn's good."

"You might want to keep it down," Finn said. "Or maybe I'll paint a target on your back."

We all stopped when we heard a moan in the distance.

"What the hell was that?" Bellamy asked.

"Now would be a good time to take out that gun." Clarke said and we walked towards the sound.

We broke forth through the bushes and stopped dead in our tracks.

Before us Jasper was tied to a tree, bloody and weak, moaning in pain.

"Oh my gosh," Monty called running. "Jasper!"

"Monty careful!" We called running after him.

"What the hell is this?" Bellamy asked.

Taking a step forward, Monty fell through the thin ground, Bellamy quickly grabbing on to his arm. "Pull him up!" I yelled and we all gathered around Bellamy to pull him up.

"We need to get him down." Clarke said.

"I'll climb up and cut the vines," Finn said.

"I'll come too." I said but Finn stopped me. "No, stay with Clarke. And watch him."

We turned to look at Bellamy.

"There's a poultice on his wound." Clarke said.

"Medicine?" I asked. "Why would they save his life just to string him up like live bait?"

"Maybe what they're trying to catch likes his dinner to be still breathing." Bellamy said.

"Maybe what they're trying to catch is us." Finn said.

"Just hurry up." Clarke said.

Finn and Murphy continued to cut away at the thick ropes tied around Jasper's arms and waist.

We heard a low growl come from the distance. A black cat-like creature came running towards us. "Bellamy, gun!" Clarke called.

Bellamy grabbed at his waist.

I pulled the gun from own waistband and began shooting at the beast, hitting it a few times, slowing it down. All was silent for a moment while Bellamy looked around.

Just as the beast jumped to grab Bellamy I shot it square in the head. It fell and slid into Bellamy's feet, lifeless.

Everyone turned to look at me, the gun in my shaking hand. I dropped it to the ground and looked at all the people staring at me. I panted, my chest rising and falling quickly. I felt at my hip and found my pack, fiddling with the zipper but stopped when I realized that everyone was still staring at me.

I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths calling to mind what Abby taught me.

 _"Find an object around you, any object," Abby said._

 _I looked down and grabbed haphazardly at a pen that was on the table next to my bed._

 _"Now describe it."_

 _"Seriously," I said my voice shaking. "What the hell is that going to do?"_

 _"Its called Grounding," she explained. "It helps re-orient your mind towards the present."_

I fiddled with the zipper on my bag. "Small, metallic, black, round at the top," I whispered to myself.

Slowly my vision cleared and the haze in my mind subsided. "I'm fine." I called out. "I caught dinner."

Bellamy looked down at the beast at his feet. "She's right," he said. "We can butcher it and roast it over a fire when we get back."

I looked over at Clarke for a moment but I couldn't help but catch the guilty look in her eye once again.


	4. Chapter 4

"They're back!" someone yelled from inside the camp.

"Is he-" Wells asked running forward.

"He's alive," Clarke said, cutting him off. "I need water and strips of cloth for bandages. Monty and Murphy, help me carry him to the top floor of the drop ship."

Bellamy and I followed with the beast across our shoulders. "We caught dinner!" I called out putting the beast on the ground. Kids ran forward to look at it. "She caught dinner," Bellamy corrected.

Next thing I know, I am being lifted up off the ground by cheering kids. Bellamy and I smile at each other for a moment. Suddenly, his face falls. Following his gaze I see Octavia and Atom snuggled together on the other side of the fire.

"What did I say?" Bellamy calls.

"Stop!" Octavia replies, standing in front of her brother.

I motion the kids to put me down. I run over to Bellamy and Octavia.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Stay out of this," Bellamy says. "I told you, Atom, if anyone touches my sister, they answer to me."

Atom nodded, looking at the ground.

"Bellamy, its ok" Octavia calls again, but Bellamy ignores her, calling to two guys to carry Atom into the woods.

Octavia goes to chase after them but I grab her arm. "Don't."

"He can't do this forever." She says.

"He loves you, Octavia."

"This is the first time I've been free. I spent fifteen years hiding under the floor, and the past year in the skybox. I'm done being a prisoner. I look around and see endless trees and land that I am free to explore. Bellamy can't protect me forever."

"Look, I get what its like to feel like a prisoner."

"How?"

I looked at Octavia for a moment. She was so pure and good. I opened up the zipper to my pouch.

"Why do have medicine?"

"To put it simply, I have anxiety and depression. Well, paranoia. Abby, uh, Dr. Griffin, gave me more than enough to last until Mount Weather but I'm afraid I'm going to run out before we even get to Mount Weather."

"Hey," Octavia said, holding my arm. "We've only been here for two days. You'll be okay. You have a friend in me, okay?"

I nodded. Octavia embraced me and I hugged her back.

"C'mon, lets go save your man." I say and we snuck out behind the boys.

"NO! Hey, you guys can't just leave me here!" We heard Atom call out from the woods.

Octavia and I took off running.

"No, Atom. I won't be disobeyed." Bellamy replied and we watched as their torches went back towards camp.

"Guys! Bellamy!" he called out. "Who – who's there?"

"Shh" Octavia said and began climbing the tree.

"Be careful," I called up quietly.

"I'm here to rescue you, Atom." Octavia said and kissed his cheek.

Atom remained silent as Octavia loosened the seat belt straps around his wrists and brought his body to the tree.

I saw the silhouette of Octavia lean in to kiss Atom, but he moved back and away. "Atom?" she whispered, confused.

Atom jumped down from the tree and began walking back towards camp without saying a word.

"What the hell!" I called.

"Some thanks," Octavia muttered.

"He's probably just embarrassed because he got rescued by a girl."

Octavia smiled weakly. "Let's just get back to camp."

We walked back in silence.

The following morning, Octavia confronted Bellamy.

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"String Atom up."

"Atom disobeyed. He paid the price. Now we're good."

"Yeah, well now I'm paying the price. Next time you decide to go on a power trip, leave me out of it."

Next thing we knew we heard Jasper screaming. Bellamy, Octavia, and I took off running to see Clarke cutting away at Jasper's wound with Wells and Finn holding him down. Monty was huddling in the corner with a wristband.

"Stop! You're killing him!" Octavia said kneeling next to Clarke.

"She's trying to save his life." Finn defended.

"Yeah well she can't." Bellamy declared. "She just won't admit it."

Wells stood up and faced Bellamy. "Back off."

"We didn't drag him through miles of woods just to let him die." Clarke said.

"Kid's a goner. If you can't see that you're deluded. He's making people crazy."

"Sorry if Jasper's an inconvenience to you, but this isn't the Ark. Down here every life matters."

"Take a look at him. He's a lost cause."

"Octavia, Hannah," Clarke said looking at us. "I've spent my whole life watching my mother heal people. If I say there's hope, there's hope."

"This isn't about hope. It's about guts. You don't have the guts to make the hard choices. I do. If he isn't better or making progress or still moaning by tomorrow, I'll kill him myself."

With that Bellamy walked down the ladder calling for Octavia to follow.

"I'm staying here." She declared, rolling some bandage to dab at Jasper's forehead.

"Its crowded up here, I'm gonna head down." I said and followed Bellamy.

When I hit the ground floor of the drop ship I jogged out to catch up with Bellamy; who was standing with Murphy and Atom. "You shouldn't be so hard on your sister, you know that?"

"Oh, and what do you know?

"She's strong Bellamy, I see it in her. A kind heart, yes. But a strong mind. You should trust her."

"Its not her I don't trust, Hannah."

"Trust that she will trust the right people."

"You have no idea." Bellamy said coming close to me.  
"You don't have a little sister that you've been responsible for."

"You're right, I don't." I said. "But don't discredit that I have other experiences."

"Like what?"

"Like getting adopted?" Murphy joked.

Clarke's guilty face flashed before my mind and I found myself unable to answer Bellamy. I stared up at him for a moment before turning and walking away.

"Let's go!" Bellamy called out and his hunting party left camp.

Clarke came down the ladder afterwards and I confronted her. "Can I talk to you?"

"I really need to help Jasper, Hannah. Can it wait?"

"Am I actually adopted?"


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke froze.

"Answer me." I said. "Am I adopted?"

"Hannah…"

"How could you keep something like that from me? How could Marcus?"

"He had his reasons and we had to respect them."

"Save it." I said and stormed away into the woods.

* * *

 _Marcus and the guard watched in slow motion as Hannah was ripped from the airlock chamber into space. With angry tears in his eyes, Marcus slammed the button to close the outer door._

 _"_ _Marcus, what about the child?" a guard asked._

 _"_ _Where is she now?"_

 _"_ _She's still in the nursery. Hannah had run from the maternity bay."_

 _"_ _Write up the report and give it to the Chancellor," Marcus ordered. "I'll got talk to Abby and add my statement later."_

 _Marcus stood in front of Dr. Abby Griffin's office and knocked._

 _"_ _Come in!" he heard her call._

 _"_ _Abby, I'm sorry to disturb you," he said stepping in. Abby was bouncing an infant Clarke on her knee._

 _"_ _No worries, Marcus." Abby stood and laid the child in a crib near her desk. "Sit down. Would you like some coffee?"_

 _Marcus shook his head. "I'm here regarding Hannah Greene."_

 _"_ _She delivered just a few days ago. Mother and baby are doing well, physically at least, we still haven't gotten a name for the baby."_

 _"_ _Hannah Greene just committed suicide." Marcus's voice shook as he told her the news._

 _Baby Clarke cried out from her crib. Abby quickly stood to soothe the baby. "What?" she asked, once she had Clarke secure in her arms._

 _"_ _She ran from the maternity bay and jumped from the airlock. Floated herself."_

 _Abby sighed, holding Clarke closer to herself. "Marcus, I know how you felt about her."_

 _"_ _She was like a daughter to me. A lot of brokenness but she was still special." Marcus sighed once again, looking at Clarke in Abby's arms. "The poor baby."_

 _Abby looked down at her child. "If Hannah's child isn't adopted, she'll live in the Sky box with the other orphans. Chances are, she'll get involved in the same trouble her mother did."_

 _Marcus continued looking at Clarke. "I should adopt the child."_

* * *

I continued on into the woods, lost in a state of panic. She felt like a stranger in her whole skin. I wrung my hands but winced as my wristband poked deeper into my skin. I stopped and looked at the device for a moment.

It needed to come off.

I began grappling and tearing at the band, doing nothing but aggravating the four needles that poked into my skin. I groaned in disgust, sinking down to the forest floor. I would just have to wait until she got back to camp to get it off. I recalled the method in which people had their wristbands removed: sleeves rolled up, a strong hand holding her arm, the metal crowbar slid under the metal and pulling upwards until it broke off.

I rolled up my own sleeve to reveal a long scar, with a matching one on her opposite arm. Scars Clarke and Wells didn't even know about. I couldn't have the boys taking off my wristband. One of many secrets I wasn't ready to share.

I continued walking aimlessly through the forest until I crashed into someone. A small girl, her hair pulled back in fishtail braids. The youngest delinquent.

"Charlotte?" I asked. "What are you doing out here?"

"That kid, screaming. I just couldn't."

I nodded, reaching out my hand. "I couldn't either. Let's just walk."

"She's mine," I heard Bellamy whisper and I slowed my steps, motioning for Charlotte to do the same, not wanting to scare away the boar.

But Charlotte's foot stepped on a branch that snapped. The boar lifted her head and ran, boys with knives and spears chasing behind her.

Bellamy turned and threw his axe towards us. It stuck into the tree I was standing next to. He, Murphy, and Atom approached me.

"What the hell?" Bellamy asked. "I could've killed you."

Charlotte went to open her mouth but I cut her off.

"Sorry," I began. "I slowed my steps but I should've watched where I was stepping."

"You shouldn't even be out here." Atom said. "She shouldn't be either."

"Well, I found out I'm adopted." I said, turning to Murphy I added. "So thanks."

The three boys looked stunned. "How does it feel to know you're not royalty?" Murphy joked, shaking off his surprise quickly.

"I never felt like royalty." I muttered looking at the ground.

"Beat it." Bellamy said. "Go find the others." He turned to Charlotte. "Why don't you go with Atom." He handed her a knife. "Maybe you'll be a good hunter."

Murphy rolled his eyes and ran off, Atom following behind with Charlotte.

"Are you okay?" Bellamy asked, stepping forward and grabbing my arm.

"Fine," I whispered, wiping stray tears that gathered in my eyes.

"Hannah."

"I said I'm fine, Bellamy!" I replied, my voice breaking. I felt my chest begin to constrict as tears continued. I turned my face away, and went to walk away from him.

"Hannah, wait." Bellamy said. He then took my arm and ran. I stumbled, struggling to catch my footing, but once I did, I noticed it. The cloud of yellow fog headed towards us.

"I passed some caves." I said and we headed towards those.

We passed some of the other hunters as we ran. Bellamy reached out and grabbed Charlotte as well. When we got to the entrance of one of the caves we heard Atom call out, "Bellamy!"

We turned around to look, but all we saw was the fog. I shook my head and we went inside.

"We should probably camp out here." I said. "We don't know how long this is gonna last, and us dying in a cloud of acid fog is not the way to go."

Bellamy nodded, sitting down in one of the alcoves, Charlotte next to him. "You gonna tell me what's going on?" he asked.

"What?" I replied, annoyed. "The fog. What else is going on?"

"You never felt like royalty." Bellamy answered.

"What? I'm adopted." I said and began pacing around the cave, Bellamy sitting back in the alcove and watching me. "I said I never felt like royalty because of Kane. I mean he became more and more consumed in his work. But Vera was always the sweetest. I guess she made me feel like royalty. But she herself was never royalty. And Kane started being cold towards her, too." I stopped for a second. "I don't know."

"Its okay to be upset." Bellamy said.

"I'm not upset." I said, trying my best to seem okay. "I'm fine."

"Sure."

I sat down next to Bellamy. "I can't get upset." I finally said. "I can't let myself get upset."

Charlotte crawled over and snuggled up next to me.

"Why not?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know."

We all sat in silence for a while, listening to the fog howl outside the cave.

"I hope everyone found shelter alright." I said.

Bellamy nodded.

I shivered suddenly and noticed the deep chill I felt from sitting against the stone wall.

"Here," Bellamy said, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around mine and Charlotte's shoulders. "This should keep you warmer."

"What about you?" I asked.

"I'm fine."

I snuggled under Bellamy's large jacket, drawing Charlotte in and leaned back, feeling my eyelids close. And I fell asleep.

* * *

 _"_ _Grandma, can I water the tree today?" I asked, once we arrived in the Mess Hall for the weekly meeting._

 _She stopped for a moment. "Do you think you're ready to do that, princess?"_

 _I nodded with big eyes. "Yes!"_

 _She smiled, handing me the small tube. "My granddaughter, Hannah Kane will water the tree today," she said._

 _I walked up to the small tree and reached out to touch the small greens on the tree. "What do you think Earth is like?" I asked._

 _Everyone looked at me with kind and smiling eyes._

 _Suddenly, Nigel walked up in front of me. I was no longer the small, happy girl but my own jaded, broken self._

 _"_ _Waste of resources, girl." She said, snatching the small vile from me. "Now get me my deal."_

 _"_ _Nigel," I pleaded. "I don't want to do that. I have standards. I won't."_

 _Nigel just shook her head before grabbing me by my hair and presenting me. "She's all yours. Now give me what's owed to me."_

 _"_ _No!" I yelled, but I was being dragged away._

* * *

"Hannah!"

I sat up quickly, looking around me. I wasn't being dragged away, but was being held. I squirmed out of the arms and they let go immediately. I stood facing towards the entrance of the cave. It was quiet outside.

"What are you scared of?" Bellamy asked, standing next to me.

I remained quiet.

"I got away from what scared me. When I got locked up. But I was so scared to get locked up. I thought about what a disgrace I was. The daughter of the Commander of the Guard, arrested."

"Look, all the Ark royalty are down here."

"Wells only got arrested to be with Clarke."

We sat quietly again and I took a few breaths. "I get why Clarke respected Marcus's wishes."

Bellamy nodded. "Thanks." I said, smiling.

"I barely did anything." He said before placing a hand on your back. "Slay your demons, Hannah."

I laughed and looked over to Charlotte who remained seated under Bellamy's jacket.

"Think its good to go outside yet?" I asked. "I don't hear any more wind."

We slowly walked outside. Looking across the woods, we noticed some of the others making their way outside as well.

"Is everyone accounted for?" Bellamy asked once most of the hunters were gathered together.

"We took cover in some caves." One of them said.

"Wait," Murphy asked. "Where's Atom?"

I noticed Charlotte had wandered away. I saw her staring down over a hill. And she started to scream.

I heard Bellamy ask the hunters to stay back while we ran up to her. "What is it?" he asked.

She simply pointed

Bellamy ran ahead and knelt down next to Atom, whispering his name.

"Charlotte, go back to camp." I whispered before walking next to Bellamy.

Atom's skin was raw, covered in boils. His eyes were enlarged and he was blind. He sputtered, blood seeping out of lips. He was whispering to himself as he groaned.

Bellamy and I leaned in.

"Kill me." He said. "K-kill me."

Bellamy and I looked at each other. He pulled a small knife out of his pocket and held it above Atom. But Bellamy hesitated.

"I got this," I said and took the knife from his hand.

I leaned closer to Atom. "I'm gonna help you, okay?" I started petting his hair back. "You're okay." I said and stuck the knife into the side of his kneck. His wheezing slowly stopped and he closed his eyes.

Bellamy and I sat for a moment. "May we meet again." Bellamy whispered before standing. "Murphy! Mbege!"

The two ran up and stopped once they saw Atom. "He's dead." I said. "Use the stretcher for the animals to carry him back to camp. Wells will bury him."

They nodded, lifting up his body.

"We did the right thing." I said, taking Bellamy's hand.

He nodded and we made the trek back to camp.


	6. Chapter 6

When we all arrived back to camp, Clarke ran and gave me a big hug. "I'm sorry, Hannah."

I sighed, returning the embrace. "I get it. It doesn't make it any less sucky though, you know?"

Clarke broke off and nodded. "I'm gonna go check on Jasper again, he should be making progress, thankfully. Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

I nodded in response.

Turning around, I saw the boys bring the stretcher in with Atom's body. Octavia ran forward, Bellamy trying to hold her back. She pushed past him though and pulled back the sheet. She cried out when she saw his boiled and bloodied body. Bellamy picked her up and took her away. Some boys behind carried a boar on their shoulders.

"Start butchering that meat, right away." Bellamy ordered, carrying Octavia to her tent.

Later on that evening, I walked to the boys roasting the boar over a fire. Upon seeing the food, my own stomach growled. I hadn't eaten much in the past two days. I walked over to Murphy who was placing the meat on spears for people to take. I reached out to grab one but Murphy grabbed my arm.

"What the hell, Murphy!" I yelled.

"Take your wristband off, then you can eat."

My mind wandered back to the dilemma I face in the forest. They couldn't take off my wristband and see who I really was.

"What is your problem with me?"

"My problem?" Murphy started. "Well you punched me in the face, and then you're still giving the Ark a reason to come down here and follow. You're almost worse than the royal family. You act like one but you're really not."

"Go to hell, Murphy." I grumbled, tearing my arm from his grip.

But Murphy was just getting started.

"Let's not even start about Nigel. You know how that went down. My dad went to her first, but she didn't think he had the creds to be a customer. So he went rogue and got killed for it."

"That's not my fault, Murphy."

"Oh, you were like her little bitch. And what's in the little fanny pack. More goods to deliver for her?"

"Listen, I'm relieved to be away from Nigel."

Octavia slowly moved forward, hearing us argue. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Murphy said. "I just wanna know what's in Hannah's bag. She never takes it off."

"Beat it, Murphy." Octavia said.

"Oh so even you're protecting her. The girl from under the floor."

"What did you say about my sister?" Bellamy barked from the other side of the fire.

Murphy rolled his eyes and stalked forward to me. "I'll ive you food if you lemme take a peek in the bag."

I loked at Octavia. I was really hungry, but she shook her head.

Bellamy walked over at this point. "What's the problem?"

"Murphy won't give Hannah food unless she takes her wristband or shows him whats in her bag." Octavia explained.

"Murphy, give them food."

"What the hell, Bellamy?" Murphy exclaimed. "You wouldn't give it to other people unless they took off their wristbands."

"Octavia and Hannah aren't other people."

Murphy rolled his eyes again, throwing his arms up in the air and walked away. Bellamy leaned over and grabbed two spears, handing one to Octavia and one to me.

"Bellamy, this is a lot of meat, Octavia and I can share."

"You two need your strength, just take it."

Octavia and I nodded, walking away to sit and eat.

"You doing okay?" Octavia asked after taking a bite. "You seemed pretty pissed at Clarke before. She wouldn't tell me why."

"Octavia, I'm adopted."

"What?"

"Yeah, Murphy brought it up as a rumor, probably a lie, but then Clarke looked so guilty…" I explained taking a bite fo my own food. "So I asked her. And its true."

"Do you know anything about your birth parents?"

I shook my head. "Didn't get that far into the conversation. I just can't imagine Marcus being so kind and heartfelt like that. I mean I have vague memories of him being loving when I was little but he's just gotten colder over time."

"He's head of the guard, Hannah. That can weigh on a person."

"Can we just eat?" I asked. "I don't really wanna talk about it anymore."

Octavia nodded and we continued to eat in silence until Charlotte approached us.

"Hey Charlotte," I said, patting the ground next to us. "Did you get some food?"

She shook her head. "Murphy wouldn't let me." She held up her wrist.

"Take some of mine." I said, tearing off a big chunk of meat and handing it over to the small girl.

She took a bite, and sat back relishing in the taste. "Fresh cooked food is a whole lot better than rations." I said and Charlotte giggled.

 _"_ _You were forced on me, Hannah." Marcus spat in my face._

 _"_ _Dad," I cried._

 _"_ _I am not your father! You were unwanted and unloved and I was a sucker to ever take you in!"_

I shot up panting, covered in sweat, and trembling. I wiped at the tears that were slipping down my cheeks. _I need to know the truth,_ I thought and got up to find Clarke.

Exiting the tent I now shared with Octavia, I walked out into the quiet night. Other deliquents shifted and whimpered in their sleep, no less plagued by their own nightmares. _What was the Ark thinking, sending us down here?_ I thought and walked over to Clarke's tent.

"Clarke," I whispered.

"Hannah?" she asked sitting up.

"Clarke, I'm sorry to wake you but I need to know the truth."

"This can't wait until morning?" she asked rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Clarke I have nightmares of so many different scenarios of how it went down and I just need to know the truth."

Clarke shifted and patted a space for me to sit next to her.

"Your mother was very young when she had you," Clarke began. "I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, Hannah, but she wanted to terminate at first. Her parents were floated when she was very young, and she had a hard time growing up. Worked for Nigel."

I squeezed my eyes shut at hearing this, but nodded for Clarke to continue.

"Marcus was like a father to her, and when they found she was pregnant in the skybox, he took her in and cared for her while she was pregnant, convinced her to keep the baby."

"Well, what happened after I was born? Where is my mother now?"

Clarke paused looking down at her hands. "Just say it." I urged, placing my hands on top of hers. "I'm sure my nightmares are making it much worse than it actually is."

"That's the thing, Hannah," Clarke said. "Your mother killed herself a few days after you were born."

"What?"

"She had underlying issues to begin with, my mother would see her while she was in the skybox, to try and work out why she worked for Nigel, and suspected a mood disorder. But she just ran out of the maternity bay to the airlock chamber. Marcus caught up with her, pleaded with her, but it was too late. She had already sealed herself in the chamber."

My breath hitched in my throat.

"She floated herself, Hannah."

I stared blankly ahead, tears steadily streaming down my face.

"Hannah," Clarke whispered, taking my arm.

"What was her name?"

"Hannah. It was also Hannah."

"God!" I grunted, kicking into the air and standing up.

"Hannah please realize, that Marcus was heartbroken! He loved her as a daughter, and adopted you. If you weren't going to be adopted you would've wound up in the skybox. Later on, working for—"

"Nigel?" I scoffed. "Well that's where I wound up anyway, isn't it! One of Nigel's bitches, and in solitary for two years!"

"Hannah, please it's the middle of the night." Clarke had gotten out of bed and was approaching me.

"Stop it." I said, feeling irrational and angry. "Leave me alone."

"Hannah, you wanted the truth."

"And I got it. You don't have to try and justfy everything. It sucks. She didn't want me. And I'm just like her. End of story."

"That's not true!"

"Leave it, Clarke."

"Hannah, where are you going?"

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna float myself." I stormed out of the tent and crashed hard into someone's chest.

"Hannah," Bellamy whispered, holding me tight and rubbing my back.

"I don't want your pity, Bellamy." I said, grabbed a knife that was stuck in a tree and ran off into the forest.

I walked for a few minutes until I tripped over a root. I landed hard on the ground, knocking the wind out of me, and scraping my knee. I cursed, crawling to sit against a tree.

I sat and watched as the blood pooled into the scrape, as it stung in the open air. I rolled up my sleeve and looked at the wristband that was still on my arm.

Now it really needed to come off.

Taking the knife from my pocket, I carefully slid it underneath the band. I braced my hand against the bark of the tree and pulled on the band. But as hard as I pulled nothing would happen. The four needle were being irritated and blood was beginning to pour from the puncture marks. I wiggled the knife under the band, trying a new angle to get the wristband off, but was only successful in cutting myself.

I groaned in pain, sliding the knife out and inspected the cut. IT was bleeding, but it wasn't deep, I could try again. I sat in a different position and tried different angles of pressure but nothing would work. The blood was pooling more thickly around my wristband.

I gave up, sitting back against the tree again, knocking my head into the bark in frustration.

And I cried. I wailed. I wept.

The truth had finally come out, and it was worse than my nightmares.

A twig snapped in the distance and I froze, gripping the knife in my hand. But it was only Bellamy who emerged from the bushes.

"There you are," he said and came to kneel in front of me. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," I muttered, choking on a sob.

"Look, I know I haven't always been the nicest person, but Octavia cares about you. Which means you're good. I've noticed it myself. _I_ care about you."

"Well then your standards must be way off." I sputtered, looking up and away from his concerned gaze.

"Please," he whispered, taking my chin and fighting to bring my gaze to him. "Just talk to me."

"She didn't want me, Bellamy." I cried and the sobs came out anew.

Bellamy wrapped his arm around me and brought me into his chest. His fingers wove within my hair as he held me strongly against him.

"She didn't want me. And I'm just like her. I'm just like her." I cried.

"Just like who?" he asked.

"My mother," I said, turning so the side of my face was against his chest. He shifted to sit down, and brought his head down close to mine, so he could listen as he held me.

"I'm just like her." I whispered. "She didn't want me. After she gave birth to me, she floated herself. She was insane, and I'm insane. There's no hope for me."

"Don't say that," Bellamy said, a small smiled in his voice.

"You don't understand." I said sitting. "I got into the skybox for the same reason she did. And I wound up in solitary for two years."

Bellamy looked at me confused.

I looked at him for a moment, debating whether or not now would be the time to tell all.

"I can't," I said.

"Shh," Bellamy whispered again, drawing me in. "Its okay." He reached down to take my hand but he stopped when his fingers met the sticky substance of my blood dripping down my arm.

"What did you do?" he asked, lifting up my arm in the moonlight.

I gasped when I saw what I had actually done.

Small cuts littered around my wristband, with blood streaming down my hand and arm. Fresh sobs worked through me.

"B-Bellamy, I was trying to get my wristband off. I couldn't take it being on there anymore but I couldn't let you guys do it. You couldn't see my arm. Murphy would never stop."

"Bellamy rolled up my sleeve to reveal the long scar along my arm. He rolled up the other to reveal the same.

"That's why I got put into solitary." I said.

Bellamy paused, looking at me.

"Nigel is why I got arrested. These are why I got put in solitary." I explained. "No one knows, except my father and Abby. Please don't tell Clarke."

"She's gonna have to find out because she's gonna have to take care of your wrist."

"No." I pleaded, wriggling to get out of Bellamy's grasp. "She'll never leave me alone."

"Hey – everyone has scars, Hannah. Yours are just visible. Besides, Octavia and I will take care of you, okay?" Bellamy grabbed my chin and began wiping tears from my eyes. "Okay?"

"Okay," I whispered, sniffling. "I'm a mess of snot and tears." I laughed.

"Yeah its kinda gross." Bellamy replied, bringing forth another laugh from me.

He brought me into his chest once again, placing kisses on the top of my head. "I'm gonna take care of you from now on." Bellamy whispered once again.

I exhaled deeply. "I guess we should get back to camp." I said standing.

Bellamy nodded, taking my hand and we walked back to camp, the sun peeking over the trees. It was soon going to be a new day.

"I'll figure out how to live with all this," I said. "I have to."


	7. Chapter 7

Daylight had come over the camp when Bellamy and I arrived back, hands still intertwined. People commented and wolf whistled as we passed through, causing me to look down at the ground as my cheeks blushed a bright red.

Normally, I'd be more aggressive in the face of mindless teasing, but after finding out all of this information, I was left feeling broken and vulnerable.

"Don't pay attention to them," Bellamy whispered, giving my hand an encouraging squeeze.

"Hannah!" Octavia called out, running over to give me a hug. "Where were you? I woke up and you were gone, I was so worried!"

I smiled, feeling a sense of comfort at Octavia's concern.

"And what happened to your wrist?" She asked, picking it up and examining the now dried blood around my wristband.

"I tried to take my wristband off." I said, the embarrassment surfacing once again.

"Get Clarke," Bellamy told his sister. "Tell her to meet Hannah and I in the dropship. Top floor."

Octavia nodded, and ran towards Clarke's tent. Bellamy led me into the drop ship, settling me in and wrapping a blanket around my shoulders. "I'm gonna take your wristband off, okay?"

I nodded, tears gathering in my eyes.

"I'll be gentle," Bellamy promised. He grabbed a crowbar and gently slid it underneath the band. He came around behind me, bracing my arm and pulled up quickly, snapping the band. I cried out at the dull pain it caused.

Bellamy shushed me soothingly, as he grabbed a makeshift towel, dipping it into some water, taking his place in front of me and wrapping it around my wrist. He applied steady but soft pressure. I closed my eyes and relaxed into his touch.

"You okay?" he asked.

I nodded, leaning my head back against the wall.

My eyes opened once again as I heard Clarke and Octavia make their way up the ladder. Bellamy gave me an encouraging smile.

"What happened?" Clarke asked, noticing the bloody towel wrapped around my wrist.

"A lot," I whispered, a nervous giggle erupting from me.

"This is isn't funny!" Clarke scolded.

"Calm down," Bellamy said. "Both of you." He leaned in and whispered gently. "Be honest, I'm right here, okay?"

I nodded, and looked up at Clarke.

"I kinda freaked out last night. Stormed off, tripped, busted up my knee. Then I insisted that I take my own wristband off and kinda butchered myself in the process."

"What do you mean butchered?"

I nodded to Bellamy who unwrapped my wrist.

"Oh my god, Hannah." Clarke said kneeling down to examine the cuts. "Where is your wristband now?"

"Bellamy took it off. Don't get mad."

Clarke shook her head. "I'm not. It was gonna have to come off so I could properly clean and bandage these. Now let me see your knee."

I bent my knee up, wincing as the scab that had formed pulled, opening the scrape again.

"That's not too bad," Clarke observed. "I'm still gonna have to clean and bandage it. But I want to focus on your arm. Octavia, can you work on her knee?"

"I can do it," Bellamy said shifting and taking my knee in his hands.

Clarke nodded. "Okay, Octavia, can you hand me the moonshine and the bandages?"

I swallowed hard at the thought of how badly the moonshine was going to sting. Bellamy squeezed about my knee and gave me another encouraging smile. "This is my own fault." I said, nervous tears falling.

"I'm glad you came to me." Clarke said, dipping the first cloth into some water. "Right now I'm just going to wipe away the excess blood so I can get a good look." She began to gently wash my wrist, revealing the raw skin.

At the same time, Bellamy had begun to wash my knee. Octavia sat next to me, running soothing fingers through my hair.

"I'm gonna use the moonshine now," Bellamy said. I inhaled sharply as he placed the soaked cloth over my knee. He just held it over the cut, soaking up the excess water, blood, and dirt. "Done," he said taking the cloth off. Grabbing a dry one he patted at my knee, making sure the scrape was fine.

I cursed as Clarke placed a moonshine soaked cloth over my wrist. My body shook as I adjusted to the pain. "Sorry," she said. I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth, bringing my head back against the wall again.

"Knee's done." Bellamy said and came to sit on my other side. He brought his arm up and squeezed soothingly at my neck, rubbing my shoudlers. I exhaled forcefully.

"Almost finished." Clarke said as she wrapped my arm with the bandage, fastening it with some hair pins.

"Done."

The four of us sat quietly for a moment. Octavia and Bellamy each holding one hand, Clarke's hand on my good knee, and me practicing my good breathing techniques.

"Hannah?" Clarke asked, breaking the silence. "Why didn't you ever tell me about the other cuts?"

"I knew this was coming," I replied, opening my eyes to look at her.

"When I found out that I got caught, and the guard, my father included, were coming to arrest me, I thought I'd take matters into my own hands. I was so disgusted with who I was, the things I had done…"

"I have to ask Hannah, but…" Clarke paused. "Should I be worried about you?"

"Clarke," Bellamy cut in.

"No, Bellamy. She's right to ask." I said, patting his hand. "I don't think so. I mean, I'm still taking my medication. I'll deal."

"Hey," Bellamy said, squeezing my hand. "You won't be alone in this, okay?"

I nodded, smiling back at Bellamy.

"I'm sorry I freaked out at you last night, Clarke." I said. "Its not your fault."

"Yeah but I was the messenger," she replied. "I get it. Its ok. This is a crazy situation we're in."

"You can say that again." Octavia added and we all laughed.

"Octavia and I have agreed that we'll keep an eye out for Hannah," Bellamy told Clarke.

"You've got a lot on your plate." I added. "You won't have to worry about me."

Clarke nodded. "But you're still my friend, okay?" She said, her voice breaking. "I don't want to lose you."

I leaned forward and brought her into my chest for a hug. I felt her sniffle.

Bellamy and Octavia stood, motioinging that they would meet me outside.

"I just have to say," Clarke began, still crying. "That you may feel like you're exactly the same as your mom, but you're not. You were raised by Marcus and Vera Kane. Marcus is strong. And Vera is full of compassion. You are both of those things. My mom told me that Marcus wasn't always this cold, that he also had his mother's compassion. We need to hope that he'll warm up one day."

I nodded, crying as well. "And I did have you," I added on.

Clarke and I both wiped at our tears.

"Look, I just have to say this Clarke. Please don't be so hard on Wells. He really cares about you. And we all have secrets. But down here, every life matters. You said that yourself. Fight for him, just like you fought so hard for Jasper. And fight for yourself. You don't have to be perfect all the time."

Clarke nodded, looking at me questioningly. "What secrets?" He got my father killed."

"Think Clarke: Who knew about the secret of the Ark?"

"Other than my dad; me, Wells, and my mother." She said and then stopped. "It was my mother."

I looked at her sadly. "Talk to Wells, Clarke."

Clarke nodded, before helping me to stand up. We shared one more hug before climbing down the ladder. Once we got outside, we heard a cut off scream.

"That sounds like…" Clarke said.

"Wells." I said and we took off running.


	8. Chapter 8

I got to him first, gasping as he clutched at his slashed throat. Blood poured down his neck and through his fingers. Two of them were missing.

"Wells, oh my god!" I ran over to cradle him.

"What happened?" I heard Finn approach, I saw Clarke tentatively walking behind. "We heard yelling-oh my god. Clarke," he said turning to block her.

She came around Finn's side. She grabbed at Wells. "Get me something to put pressure on it!" She looked at Wells. "Who did this?"

He tried to say something, but he chocked, blood coming out of his mouth.

Bellamy and Octavia had joined the small crowd of people gathering around a dying Wells.

"Clarke," I said. "This isn't just a scratch we can dump moonshine on and cover; his throat was slashed. He'd need blood, serious stitches. We can't do that here."

"We have to try!" she said, tears streaming down her face. "I've hated him all this time and he was protecting me."

I looked down at Wells who was slowly losing consciousness.

"Now's your chance to make things right." I said and stepped away, pulling the others back with me.

Clarke shifted so she could speak to Wells. "Wells," she said and he looked up in acknowledgment. "Wells, I know the truth." He smiled up at her, trying to speak once again. "No Wells, I know." She said and leaned down, placing a kiss on his lips. He reached his hand up to caress her hair.

"I love you Wells," Clarke said. "And I'm sorry."

Wells coughed once more, "Its o-kay." He managed. His body went limp in Clarke's arms. She looked down at him for a moment before shutting his eyes.

* * *

Finn, Octavia, Monty, a cured Jasper, me, and finally, Clarke all tossed handfuls of dirt over Wells's grave. Finn nodded at me, picking up a shovel to finish burying him. I reached over to Clarke.

"C'mon let's go."

I began leading her back to camp when my foot kicked against something metal. Looking down….

"Oh my god," I said picking up the knife made from the dropship metal. "This was a murder."

Octavia and Finn ran up and looked to see what I had in my hands. Turning the knife over we all saw the initials scratched in.

 _JM_

"That bastard is gonna pay," I said through clenched teeth.

I walked back to camp and grabbed Murphy shoving him against a tree.

"Woah," he said, brushing me off and adjusting his coat. "If you want something crazy, all you gotta do is ask."

"Murderer," I spat.

His face fell, almost looking genuinely confused. "Don't play that game with me." I said and threw his knife on the ground with Well's blood beginning to dry on the blade.

"Where did you find that?" he asked, looking pale.

I scoffed. "Next to Wells's body."

"Wells is dead?!"

"Hannah, I think he's serious." Octavia said stepping forward, but a crowd was already gathering around us.

"He's antagonized Wells from day one!" I said.

"But I'm not a murderer!" he called out. He looked to Clarke, "C'mon."

Clarke just shrugged her shoudlers.

"We should float him!" A boy, Conner, called out.

That's when mine and Clarke's eyes got Wide.

But the mob had already taken over – kids were screaming and pushing at each other.

"No!" I called out and looked at Murphy with apologetic eyes. But it was too late. I acted brashly and he was furious, and scared. Seeing that fear in his eyes is when I realized that maybe I was wrong.

Boys pounced on Murphy and started kicking and shoving him. His friends ran off. Octavia and I did out best to pull kids away but one kicked me in my bad knee in the scuffle. Another grabbed my bandaged wrist. I screamed, falling over in pain.

They had tied Murphy up and hung a noose around his neck. He was standing on a bucket, tears streaming down his face.

"ENOUGH!" We all heard and everyone stopped for a second to look at Bellamy. "What happened?"

"Murphy killed Wells!" someone called out.

"What?" he asked, looking at me. He was expecting an answer from me.

"I-I, his knife was found with Wells's body. He was definitely murdered."

Conner went up to Bellamy. "You should do it," he said. "Bellamy! Bellamy!" He began chanting and more people joined in.

I grabbed Bellamy's shoulder. "I confronted Murphy myself, but I'm not so sure anymore."

"Bellamy, they'll listen to you!" Clarke pleaded.

As the chaos was going on, I noticed Charlotte. Her hair still in her fishtail braids and her eyes still tired. But she also looked afraid. I walked up to her. "Are you okay, Charlotte?" She gasped in surprise. "I just wanted to slay my own demons. Like Bellamy told you."

"What?" I asked.

Everyone cheered as Bellamy kicked the bucket out from under Murphy. Murphy gagged, screaming out. Clarke looked at Bellamy with disgust. I was shocked in my realization and felt incredibly guilty.

"Just stop, okay!" Charlotte yelled.

"Charlotte you shouldn't be here," Bellamy said. Octavia went to grab her arm.

"No, stop! Murphy didn't kill wells!" she screamed. "I did!"

The entire camp went silent. Clarke quickly reached for the axe hanging from one of Bellamy's belt loops and cut the rope holding Murphy in the air.

Bellamy looked heartbroken as he reached and grabbed Charlotte. Clarke and I ran to follow. We quickly walked into Bellamy's tent.

"Why Charlotte?" he asked.

"I was just trying to slay my demons, like I heard you telling Hannah."

"What the hell?" Clarke asked.

"She misunderstood me." He said before continuing. "Charlotte that is not what I meant."

"Bring the girl out now!" Murphy screamed from outside the tent.

"Please don't let them hurt me." She pleaded.

"If you guys have any bright ideas, speak up." Bellamy said.

We were all silent.

"Now you stay quiet!" Bellamy exclaimed running a hand through his hair."

"Those are your boys out here," Finn said, walking into the tent.

"This is not my fault!"

"Please, Hannah." Charlotte pleaded.

I crouched down and grabbed Charlotte's shoudlers. "Charlotte, hey," I whispered. "Its gonna be ok, just," I looked over to Clarke and Finn, "stay with them." Bellamy and I made eye contact before he exited the tent. I started rubbing small circles in her back. _She must've been plagued by some serious demons to think murder would slay them,_ I thought.

"So who here wants to see the real murderer hung up?" I hear Murphy call.

Charlotte tensed under my touch. I passed her over to Clarke and Finn before exiting the tent myself.

It was silent outside, only Murphy's friends raising their hands.

"I see," Murphy continued. "So its okay to string me up for nothing, because this crazy bitch," he gestures to me. "Finds my knife, but then this little bitch confesses and you want to let her walk!"

I went back into the tent and looked over at Clarke, "We need to get her out of here. Now."

"Murphy!" Bellamy yelled. "Its over."

As we ran through the forest we heard commotion back at camp. I silently hoped Bellamy was okay.

"I know a place we can take her," Finn said.

Clarke and I followed Finn to a bunker. As we ran Charlotte reached forward to grab Clarke's hand. Clarke snatched it away. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Just because we saved you doesn't mean you're forgiven. Go it?"

Charlotte stood stunned.

"Clarke," I said. "She's just a kid."

"She's a killer!" she turned to Charlotte. "You killed someone! Ended his life! Did you stop to even think about that for one second? Look at me! You can't just kill someone to make yourself feel better!"

Murphy started yelling in the distance. "We should run," I said.

"I like my plan better," Finn said and opened the door to the bunker. "Get in."

Once we get settled in, Finn tucked Charlotte in bed before we sat down on the couch. Eventually after talking for some time, mainly Finn and Clarke talking, we fall asleep.

* * *

"Finn!" I heard hours later. "Hannah!" I stretched rubbing my eyes and looking around.

"Charlotte's gone," Clarke said.

Jumping into action we quickly blew out the candles and packed up the bunker. We heard Charlotte scream and ran. Once we reached her, we realized it was Bellamy who had her and breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm not your sister or Hannah," she yelled and squirmed out of Bellamy's grip. "Stop helping me! Hey!" she called running towards the torches. "I'm over here!"

"Charlotte!" Bellamy called. He grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Please, Bellamy, I'm the one they want. Just leave."

"Hey!" Bellamy said shaking her a little. "I am not leaving you. We," he added on looking at me. "are not leaving you."

Charlotte tried to run again but he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. She kept screaming for Murphy to find her.

We broke through the trees but stopped once we realized we were on the edge of a cliff. Peering down we saw nothing but mist. One thing was for certain, if you fell, you died.

"Damnit." Bellamy said.

Murphy and his gang broke through after us. "You can't take all of us, just give her up Bellamy."

"Stop!" I said. "This has gone too far."

Murphy smirked before grabbing me and holding me against his chest. He whispered into my hair, his hot breath tickling my ear. "You'll pay for this, no matter how this turns out. You started it." Swallowing hard, I felt a blade against my throat. I froze looking into Bellamy's eyes. I was looking at him, but my mind was somewhere else.

 _I held the cool razor in my hand and stood in my small bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror, I raised the blade to my throat. It was cool, yet firm, and I felt it dig in a little when I swallowed. I was just about to drag it across, ending it all when I heard a knock on the door._

 _"_ _Hannah?" my father asked. "Open up."_

 _I heard the exhaustion in his voice and felt a pang of pity run through me._

 _"_ _Hannah, don't make this any more difficult than it already is."_

 _I was a disgrace to him. He was cold and I was a disgrace, but I still loved him._

 _I dug the blade in my left arm, dragging it up from my wrist, crying out in pain._

 _"_ _What are you doing?" he asked again before addressing the guards. "Break down the door."_

 _I quickly and haphazardly repeated the same motion on the opposite arm._

 _My vision blurred and my hearing was foggy. I saw my father reach over me and touch my arms, my blood on his fingers. He held my face in his hands and it was the first time I saw real emotion in him for so long. "Call Abby!" he yelled. "She needs medical!"_

 _I felt myself being placed on a stretcher, pressure being placed on both of my arms. My father holding my hand as they ran. He looked down at me. "Hannah," he said his voice breaking. "You're under arrest for theft, prostitution, and working with the Ark's black market."_

 _I lost consciousness._

I fell hard onto the ground and sending shocking waves of pain through the cuts from my wristband. When I looked up, I saw Clarke yelling and Bellamy staring down, heartbroken and solemn; Charlotte nowhere to be seen. Looking up at Murphy, he was surprised for a moment, but he looked down at me with anger and hate.

I lunged at him, punching him hard in the face before Finn and Bellamy pulled us apart. Bellamy held Murphy over the edge. "You're banished." He said. "If you do anything or try anything, we'll be right back here. Do you understand?!"

Murphy nodded. Bellamy dropped him yelling, "Now go!"

Murphy scrambled to his feet and after tripping a few times ran deep into the forest. His friends stood still. "You can come back to camp and follow me or follow him into the woods to die." All of them stood still and nodded.

Finn let go of me before picking Clarke up from the edge of the cliff. "For now," she whispered to Bellamy. "We make the rules, together." Bellamy nodded and looked at me, before taking my hand and leading me back into the forest towards camp.

I turned back to see Finn and Clarke kissing. Similing a little to myself, I pulled against Bellamy's hand.

"You ok?" he asked.

I simply nodded, shaking off the memory of my arrest.

Our attention was quickly brought skyward as a small pod raced down to the earth. "I think that's from the Ark." I said.

Bellamy froze. "I have to go take care of it."

"What do you mean?"

"They can't follow us down here."

"Bellamy, what are you talking about? We'll die without them."

He rolled his eyes. "Hannah, when they come down, its not gonna be good for me."

"You think its gonna be good for any of us?" I asked.

"You don't understand."

"Then explain to me."

He shook his head. "Just go back to camp."

"No." I said strongly, grabbing onto his hand again. "Bellamy," I whispered.

"I did something." He said, his voice cracking. "To get on the dropship."

I looked at him as he struggled to formulate the words.

"Bellamy, tell me."

"I shot him." He said with teary eyes. "Jaha."


	9. Chapter 9

"What do you mean you shot him?" I asked Bellamy, still in shock from his confession.

"It means exactly what it means, Hannah! I pointed a gun and shot him!"

"Bellamy, you're not a murderer." I said walking up to him and placing both of my hands on his cheeks. "There has to be more than this."

"There always is," he whisperd, taking my hands in his. "But it doesn't matter. What matters is that I shot the chancellor. The Ark isn't gonna care about anything else. I'll never be forgiven."

"You'll never find out if you run away, if you 'take care of that pod'. If anything, it'll make things worse."

"That's not really a chance I want to take."

"Bellamy…" I went to continue as we arrived at the gates to camp, but he walked away from me. He was pushing me out.

"Hannah?" Octavia called as she greeted me at the gate, turning to see her brother walking away.

"Hey, Octavia." I said pulling her in for a hug.

"Where's Charlotte? What's my brother doing? Did you see that thing in the sky?"

"Charlotte's dead. Bellamy is…" I shrugged my shoulders.

Octavia walked past me to follow Bellamy but I grabbed her. "I wouldn't."

"What happened?"

"He told me what he did, Octavia. To get on the dropship."

She gave me a nervous look but nodded for me to continue.

"He shot the chancellor. And now he's going to take care of whatever is in that pod."

She covered her mouth in shock and turned to look at her brother once again.

"I don't know if he killed him or not, but regardless its not good. I understand why he doesn't want the Ark to follow."

"We can't do this without them!"

"That's what I told him."

"I would never ask for him to do something like that. I would never…" She chased after her brother and I decided to leave them. I walked into mine and Octavia's tent and collapsed into my bed, my eyes closing quickly.

* * *

I was waken up seemingly too quickly by Clarke.

"What?" I groaned.

"Get up," she said.

"Have you slept at all Clarke?"

"No." she said and tugged me to my feet.

"Bellamy went out before," she said. "Did you know that?"

I stayed quiet. "I thought so." She answered. "Well, we need to go see what damage he did to this pod."

She tugged me along to Finn and we began walking. "Did you have a good night?" I asked, nudging Clarke and looking at Finn.

They both rolled their eyes at me.

"Just trying to lighten the mood." I said. "C'mon, I'm sure everything is fine. Its probably just supplies."

"I don't know." Clarke said.

Arriving at the crash site, we cautiously moved closer to the pod. Clarke put a hand up for us to stop as she crouched under and opened the door.

"I made it?" Finn and I heard a muffled from outside of the pod.

I couldn't help but notice Finn tense.

His mouth dropped when a tall, dark skinned, thin woman emerged from the pod.

"Raven?" he asked in surprise.

"Finn!" she called and ran to him. They embraced and shared a passionate kiss. I approached Clarke. "Did you know about her?"

Clarke just shook her head.

When they broke away Raven lokoed between all three of us. "Clarke, Hannah," she said. "Abby told me you'd step up to be in charge."

"My mother sent you down?" Clarke asked.

Raven nodded and looked up at the sky. "Wow," she breathed. Raven extended her hands and turned around a few times, relishing in the fresh air.

"Did my mother tell you to do anything? Does she have anything for us? Supplies?"

Raven shook her head. "I kinda came down here illegally. But she did tell me to radio up if I found anyone. She never gave up hope on you guys. Speaking of…" Raven turned and went back into the pod.

"Its gone!" she yelled before hitting the side of the pod. "Stupid! I should've strapped it to—"

"No." Clarke said, cutting her off. "This was Bellamy."

* * *

"Hey!" Clarke called running after Bellamy.

He rolled his eyes and continued to walk.

"Where is it?" she asked grabbing his shoulders to face him.

"Hey Princess, you taking a walk in the woods?"

I exhaled sadly, watching from a distance, he's pushing everyone away. He wants us to hate him.

"They are getting ready to kill 300 people up there to save oxygen, and I can guarantee you it won't be council members, it will be working people, your people!"

I can see the remorse build in his face as he looks over to me. I simply nod. He swallows thickly. And then Finn runs in. "Bellamy. Where's the radio?" he asks, shoving him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Bellamy says, shoving back.

"Bellamy Blake?" Raven says running behind. "They're looking all over for you."

"Shut up." He says.

"Looking for him why?" Clarke asks.

"That's not important." I say.

"He shot Chancellor Jaha!" Raven blurts out.

"That's why you took the wristbands, so they think we're dead." Clarke begins.

"And all that whatever the hell we want," Finn continues. "You just care about saving your own skin."

Bellamy turns to walk away.

"Hey, Shooter." Raven says coming behind him. "Where's my radio?"

"I should've killed you when I had the chance." He spits back.

"You don't meant that Bellamy," I say walking up and touching his arm.

"Well, I'm right here," Raven taunts.

Bellamy quickly grabs her and slams her against a tree.

"Stop it." Clarke says.

Bellamy lets Raven go before continuing on. "Jaha deserved to die, we all know that."

"Yeah he isn't my favorite person either but he isn't dead."

"What?" Bellamy asks. I can almost see relief in his eyes.

"You're a lousy shot."

"Bellamy," I say grabbing his arm. "You're not a murderer. You always did what you had to do to protect your sister, that's who you are."

"And you can do it again." Clarke continued on. "By saving 300 people. Where's the radio?"

"Its too late," Bellamy whispered. "I threw it in the river."

* * *

A few hours later, everyone was gathered around the parts of the radio. "We have to wait until its done drying before we can see the damage." Raven explained.

"Do you know what you've done?" Clarke asked, pushing against Bellamy. "300 people!"

"Wait," Raven said stepping forward. "We don't have to talk to the Ark, they just have to know we're alive."

"What should we do?" I ask.

"Flares!"

* * *

"We need to launch these asap if we have any hope of saving those people!" Raven ordered as people carried things around.

"I wish I could help," I said sitting next to Bellamy on the ground. "Clarke won't let me until my wrist is healed up some more."

"At this isn't all your fault."

"Bellamy," I said taking his arm. "You didn't know. You wre scared. But you shouldn't have pushed us all out. We could've figured something out together."

"I know." He said, placing his hand on top of mine. "I'm sorry. I just hope this is enough."


	10. Chapter 10

"Octavia!" I hear Bellamy cry, waking me from my sleep. I look around my tent and notice that the younger Blake never came back. Pulling on shorts and a shirt, I exit our tent and find Bellamy.

"Hannah have you seen her?" he asks me, panic wild in his eyes.

I shake my head. "Not since this morning. Before the whole radio things."

Bellamy closes his eyes tight. "Where could she be?"

"We'll find her, Bellamy but—"

"But what? We should wait until morning? This is my sister, Hannah."

"I know Bellamy, and none of us have slept for two days. So she would should bring more people tonight. Make it a search party."

"You aren't going anywhere." I hear Clarke say.

"Its Octavia." I plead.

"Its not safe at night."

"We'll be careful." I say. "Bellamy will bring the gun."

"No matter what I say, you guys won't listen."

"Thanks for understanding," I say, giving Clarke a quick hug. She grabbed me before I started with the others. "Be careful. Last thing you need is to get that wrist infected." I nod and follow Bellamy, Finn, Jasper, and a handful of others out of camp.

We walked for a while, coming to the edge of a steep hill before anyone saw anything. "Hey isn't that Octavia's?" Jasper asked.

Shining a torch, we looked and saw some fabric from her pants hanging from a branch. "Give me some rope," Bellamy ordered. Bellamy made it partway down the hill, "Its hers!" he confirmed. "I'm going all the way down." Jasper and Finn followed behind.

"She was bleeding!" Bellamy called up. "We have to continue on."

I looked at the rope and my bandaged wrist. Blood was still seeping through the old bandage. I wasn't exactly taking it easy on my wrist and I heard Clarke's words once more in my ear. _"Last thing you need is to get that wrist infected."_ "Bellamy!" I call.

I see his face at the bottom of the hill looking up at me. "I can't." I say gesturing to my wrist. Bellamy nods before motioning for others to follow him down.

"I'm going back to camp." I say to one of the boys next to me.

"Should I go with you?"

I shake my head. "Help Bellamy find his sister. I know the way back."

As I walked back in the complete dark, I curse myself, thinking that I should've grabbed a flashlight or a torch. I cursed myself again when I tripped.

"Here, let me help you up." I hear a familiar voice say. When I look up, I see Murphy and I'm instantly filled with fear.

"Murphy what are you doing around here?" I ask, getting up on my own.

"Is this camp?" he asks gesturing around him. "No, which means I can be here. The real question is, what are you doing out all by yourself?"

"Octavia is missing."

"Poor Bellamy," Murphy taunted. He then moved quicky, holding me in a chokehold.

"Mur-phy." I gasped, and everything went dark.

* * *

I woke up the following morning to a gloomy day. I stretched and sat up from my cot before exiting my tent to a quiet camp.

It was quiet until, "Clare! Get Clarke!"

Some ran to get Clarke while others opened the gates to to camp. Finn and Jasper entered camp holding the limp body of Finn. Clarke ran up and took his pulse. "He's alive." She said. "Get him to the dropship."

"Bellamy wouldn't let me take the knife out," Jasper said.

"That was smart," Clarke replied. "Now go!"

"Clare can you fix him?" Raven pleaded.

"No, I need my mom!"

"We still don't have a radio. When Monty tried, he just blew out all the wristbands."

"Raven, fix it!"

Raven nodded and ran back to her tent while Clarke joined the others in the dropship.

"Octavia are you oaky?" I asked running up to hug her.

"Hey!" Bellamy barked. "Why were you defending him?"

I looked from Bellamy to Octavia and walked away, leaving he siblings to sort things out. But I could still hear them from the tent.

"Because," Octavia answered. "He saved my life. That spear that hit Roma—"

"No, no you're wrong." Belamy cut her off. "I saved your life. For all you know he was keeping you alive to use you as bait for one of their traps."

"No. No I don't think so."

"You don't think, O. That's the problem. They killed three of our people today. And if you had let me kill him when I had the chance, Finn wouldn't be in there dying."

"Stop, STOP blaming me for your mistakes! What happened to Finn is not my fault. I wanted to leave, so if Finn dies in there, that's on you."

Octavia breathed out angrily before she started again. "Everything that's gone wrong is because of you. You got me locked up on the Ark, you wanted me to go to that stupid dance, you got Mom killed!"

"Me?" Bellamy asked, taunting. "Mom was floated for having you, she's dead because you're alive, that was her choice. I didn't have a choice. My life ended the day you were born.:

There was some scuffle before Bellamy spoke again, "Where do you think you're going?"

"You can't get keep me locked up in here forever." Octavia said before I heard her footsteps approach the tent.

When she walked in, we heard the first rumbles.

"A storm's coming!" Bellamy yelled out.

Octavia rolled her eyes before taking a seat on her cot.

"Are you okay, O?" I asked.

"Fine." She said through clenched teeth.

"I never knew how you got arrested." I said.

"Bellamy took me to the Masquerade Dance. I always begged him to see the Ark," she explained. "He was a Cadet for the guard at the time."

"Bellamy?" I asked, almost laughing.

Octavia smiled. "I know. My mom slept with one of the officers so she'd know when the random checks would be. He also wrote Bellamy a recommendation."

"Wow." I said.

"Anyway, there was a solar flare drill during the dance, and Bellamy told me to run. But I didn't know how to get home. He begged Officer Shumway to just let us go, but Shumway said he was just a cadet. I got throw in the skybox, Mom off the Ark, and Bellamy became a janitor."

"I'm sorry, Octavia." I said.

"He's right, though. He didn't have a choice in any of this."

"Octavia, he didn't mean that though. He loves you so much."

She simply nodded before turning over on her cot.

The thunder began rumbling. "Maybe we should get to the dropship."

"I don't care, Hannah."

We both laid down silently, exhausted from the past few days. The rumbling soothed us to sleep.

* * *

 _"_ _How long have you been having feelings like this?" Abby asked me._

 _I shrugged and looked out the small window at the vast, empty, space._

 _"_ _Hannah, if you don't talk to me, I can't help you."_

 _"_ _Maybe, I don't want your help." I said, jumping up. But the walls began to twist, a thick smoke coming in under the door. "Abby?" I asked._

 _"_ _Well you broke the law, Hannah. Big time." This time it was a different woman, one who looked like me, with young but sad eyes._

 _"_ _Mom?" I asked._

 _"_ _You were destined to be a burden. To Abby, Kane, Clarke, I mean you think Bellamy and Octavia genuinely care?" She laughed a hard laugh. "You won't make it." She lunged at me._

I gasped, clawing at my throat searching for some air. But it wouldn't come. Attempting to sit up, I leaned the wrong way on my wrist, crying out in pain and falling back onto my stomach.

"Hannah?" Octavia asked, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. When she saw my state, she quickly got up, taking me in her arms. "Hannah? What's wrong?"

I looked at her while panting. "I'm having a p-p…" Thinking of words was becoming an issue.

"Panic attack? Should I get Clarke?"

"No!" I called out. She was too busy with Finn. I didn't want to be a burden.

"I'm gonna get my brother," she said before leaving my tent.

When the flap closed, I knew that I was going to be alone forever. And tears came to my eyes. "No one cares. I'm a burden. I whispered madly to myself. I rocked on my heels, gripping tightly to my hair.

"Hannah?" I heard Bellamy's gruff voice. "Hannah!" He quickly came to sit in front of me, unclenching my hands from my hair and taking them in his. "Breathe." He demonstrated by taking deep breaths in his nose and pushing the air out of his mouth. I slowly mimicked his movements. My vision began to clear and the dying sensation faded away.

"What happened?" he asked, looking from me to Octavia.

"I had a nightmare." I said slowly. "My mother, she said I was a burden."

"Hannah, that's not true." Octavia said coming to pet back my hair. "We all have our own issues and arguments, but we care about you."

Bellamy nodded in agreement. "Did you take your medicine?"

My eyes opened in surprise. "N-no. I got distracted by all the commotion." Reaching for my hip, I felt that I wasn't wearing my pack. "Where's my pack?" I asked, gripping at my hip in confusion.

"Did it come off in your sleep?" Octavia asked. "You were thrashing."

I stood and looked all around my cot. "Its not here."

"Where could it be?!" I asked, panicking again.

"Hannah, stay calm." Bellamy said, placing his hand on my back. "You'll find it."

"No!" I said, pushing away from him and out into the campground. Rain was falling steadily. And then I remembered.

Tripping in the dark.

A face and a taunting voice.

Hands around my throat.

"Murphy."


	11. Chapter 11

"Murphy?" Bellamy asked coming to stand in front of me.

"He took them."

"But Hannah, Murphy's been banished. You had your medication last time I saw you." Octavia said.

I shook my head. "When everyone was looking for you, I had to turn back because of my wrist. I tripped because it was so dark out and Murphy ch-choked me. I must've passed out and the next thing I remember is me waking up in bed this morning."

"Damn it, Murphy." Bellamy said to himself.

"What am I gonna do?" I asked feeling tears and hysterics come on.

The rain continued to pour down.

"Right now, we need to get inside the dropship." Bellamy said, leading all of us inside.

It was incredibly crowded with Finn laid out and moaning on the makeshift table. I felt myself slipping away once again, turning everything—

"Hannah," Bellamy said, taking my arm. "You and I are going upstairs, okay?"

I nodded, allowing Bellaym to lead me up the ladder. Once we reached the top floor, I laid out on the floor.

"Hannah!" Bellamy called, drawing me into his chest. "Shh. Its okay."

"What am I gonna do without my medication? I mean we still haven't found Mt. Weather. Abby said more would be there, but we haven't even gotten close. I knew I would run out eventualy but just not so—"

"Hannah, stop." Bellamy said, taking my shoulders in his hands. "All you're doing right now is stressing yourself out more. You will be okay. No one is going to let you slip away."

"What happens when you get tired of me?"

"What?" Bellamy asked, looking at me for a moment before drawing me in tightly to his chest. "Get that idea out of your mind."

"Okay," I breathed out shakily.

"As soon as this storm is over, we are going to find Murphy."

"Okay," I say again.

"Are you actually believeing what I'm saying?" Bellamy said, pulling me to face him again. "Or are you just 'okay-ing' me to death?"

"No I mean it." I said, laughing.

I jump as the hatch is slammed open.

"Is she okay?" Octavia asks.

"I was." I say sarcastically. "Before you gave me a heart attack." I give her a small smile.

"O, you're soaked." Bellamy says.

"I collected water. Its drinkable. Most of it is for Clarke and Finn but I grabbed some for you two as well."

"Thank you," I say reaching out to take the small tin cup. I take a sip, wincing as it burns my tongue.

"Yeah, sorry, we boiled it."

"That was smart." Bellamy says taking the cup from me and taking a small sip.

"If only we had some tea leaves." I say.

Octavia smiles, "You'll be okay, Hannah. Now, I gotta grab some of Monty's moonshine to help Clarke."

"How is he?" Bellamy asks.

Octavia shakes her head. "Raven made contact with the Ark but there is a hurricane over us. If we don't do all of this soon, the storm will cut the radios out."

"You better get going then." I say. "You'll do great."

Octavia gives us one more smile before descending the ladder, taking care to close the hatch softly.

"You seem more yourself." Bellamy says, smoothing some of the hair away from my face.

I smile as our eyes lock. Our finers intertwine slowly and we start to move closer.

A crack of thunder shudders the whole ship, causing both of us to jump.

"Umm," Bellamy gruffs. "I'm going to check on the situation downstairs. You wanna stay here?"

"Sure, I'll come down in a little bit."

Bellamy nods before climbing down the ladder. I hear him ordering some of his boys around as he closes the hatch.

I am left alone in the quiet, hearing the faint commotion from the 100 downstairs. I am hit with the exhaustion of the past few days. I close my eyes and fall asleep.

* * *

I am jostled awake by the hatch door being slammed open once again. I hear some boys grunt as they pull a person through the opening. He is beaten and bloodied, tattoos across his upper arm, seeming to reach around his back. He must be the Grounder Octavia and Bellamy were arguing about.

I am about to speak up when I see Bellamy emerge, ordering the boys around. I go to step back further into the corner when my heel hits against the back wall. Everyone stops and Bellay turns to look at me.

"I didn't know you were still up here." He said.

"I fell asleep. No one has actually slept for like three days. Who's he?" I ask, gesturing to the grounder.

"We need to gain intel. We have to survive." He explains.

"Does Octavia know about this?"

Bellamy orders the boys to start tying the grounder up before coming closer towards me. "Sometimes we have to do difficult things in order to survive. I need to keep you and Octavia safe."

"What are you gonna do?"

Bellamy pauses for a moment. "What it takes."

Moments later, I hear the rest of the delinquents push themselves to the second floor. I climb down the ladder and join them.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Raven yelled at us to come upstairs," someone tells me. "Dr. Griffin is on the radio talking her and Clarke through how to remove the knife."

"Where the hell is my brother?" Octavia calls as she makes her way through the hatch.

I point up and she forces herself through the crowd to the top floor. I hear her arguing with Bellamy and decide to go downstairs.

I hear the muffled voice of Abby. "Clarke, I need you to tell me if there is any liquid leaking from the wound."

"Uhh no." Clarke says.

"That's good. That's actually really good. You got lucky."

"Hear that," Raven says leaning over Finn. "You're lucky."

I see Clarke look at Raven with guilt in her eyes.

"Okay Clarke," Abby says over the radio. "Firm grip on the knife; you're gonna need to angle it upwards and to the left, very slightly to the left as it exits the rib cage."

"How very slightly?"

"Three mil—" The radio cuts out. "Clarke?"

"Wait what was that? You dropped out." Raven runs to adust the radio signal.

"Clarke! Three millimeters! Got it?"

"Yeah, okay, got it." She pauses for a second. "Here goes."

"Steady hand. You've assisted me on trickier procedures than this. And once that knife is out, the hard part is over."

Clarke nods. Thunder crackles, shaking the dropship. Raven and I exchange a look of concern.

"Alright, extracting now."

Finn groans as Clarke touches the knife. "He's waking up!" Raven yells.

"Hold him down!"

I run over and next to Clarke, helping to hold Finn down.

"Finn I'm gonna get that knife out of you!" Clarke yells.

"Good plan," He strains.

"Finn you can't move, got it?"

He nods.

"Here goes. Finn do not move."

"Slow, Clarke," Abby says over the radio.

"Almost got it."

Finn grumbles in pain, veins popping out on his forehead.

A huge jolt of thunder hits the dropship, yanking the knife from Finn's side and knocking him off the table on top of Raven. Clarke and I swing the other way, the knife, still in her hand. We hear cries of surprise from the floors above us.

"Clarke?" We hear Abby cry. "Can you hear us?"

"Its out!" Raven calls and then adds on. "She did it."

I groan, noticing a slash in my shoulder. "Crap," I say and Clarke runs over. "You must've gotten cut when we all fell."

"What is it?" Abby says.

"Thunder hit, knocking us all over. Hannah got cut."

"Is it deep?"

"No!" I call out. "Clarke, take care of Finn first. Raven, get me some cloth."

Raven, Clarke, and I get Finn back on the table as Clarke starts stitching him up, Raven wraps a makeshift bandage around my arm.

Clarke calls out when she's done.

"Do you have anything to cover it?"

"No," Clarke answers. "We'll make do…We always do."

"Should he be this pale?" Raven asks, touching his forehead. "And warm?"

"He's lost a lot of blood, Raven. But if you're boyfriend is anywhere near as tough as you, I'm sure he'll be fine."

Clarke awkwardly looks at the floor before feeling him. "Mom she's right."

"Give him time to recover. I think he's just out of the woods."

"Well down here there's nothing but woods. I need a break."

"Clarke!" Abby calls.

But Clakre has already left.

"She isn't here anymore, Abby." I say. "I'm sorry."

"Hannah, its good to hear you."

I smile. "Thanks."

"Are you alone? We can talk if you'd like."

"Umm," I look to Raven who helps me get a headset on.

"Okay," I say. "This is as good as we'll get."

"How are you feeling?"

"I've been okay actually. The fresh air is good. And I've become very close with the Blakes."

"Like Bellamy?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't want to impart my own judgement, but be careful."

"No, I understand Abby. Octavia has been a great friend though, we share a tent."

"I'm so happy for you."

"But…"

"What is it?"

"All of my medication was stolen. By John Murphy. We had to banish him because, well because of something that went down between him, Wells, and Charlotte. Really Charlotte and Wells, but Murphy didn't make it any better."

"What happened?"

"Charlotte killed Wells. Using Murphy's knife. Then everyone hung Murphy because he was being a major dick to everyone before that. Then Charlotte confessed. Murphy then hunted down Charlotte. Eventually Charlotte threw herself from a cliff."

"Oh my gosh."

"Murphy was always fascinated with my pack and wanted to look but I never let him. Not many people know about my… issues. One night I tripped in the dark and he attacked me, I woke up and my pack was gone. I'm really scared."

"Listen, its okay to be afraid. But from what it seems, you have some good people down there, like Octavia. Just remain active. Get as much sun as possible. Don't allow yourself to wallow. And now that we have the radio, we can talk more if you'd like."

"Thanks Abby. Bellamy has said he would help me find Murphy once the storm passed."

"Like I said, be careful. But it sounds like you're doing just fine for yourself."

"Okay, I'll do my best."

Abby paused for a moment. "How is Clarke doing?"

"She's alright. She found out the truth about Jake. Right before Wells died."

Abby sighed. "I see. Well, make sure she takes time for herself. I can tell she's stepped up to be quite the leader."

"She has. And Clarke is still my friend. She'll be okay."

"Thanks, Hannah. You be good now."

I slowly removed the headset and turned the radio off. I heard some shuffling and noises behind me and turned around to see Finn shaking violently.

"Clarke!" Raven called. "He's seizing!"


	12. Chapter 12

Clarke ran into the room ordering us to roll Finn onto his side. After Finn's seizure ended, Clarke stormed up the stairs as Raven continued to hold him. I looked down to see my torso and arms smeared with lines of Finn's blood and spit. I shuddered, feeling suddenly woozy. I ran outside and threw up. I ripped my shirt off and walked back inside, throwing on a random hoodie. I groaned as I moved my sore shoulder.

"Stay with Finn." I tell Raven and follow Clarke upstairs.

"They locked the hatch," Octavia says to Clarke as I come up behind them.

"Here," I say, handing Clarke the knife.

"Did you change?" Clarke asks.

"Yeah, I threw up." I say. "I'm fine."

Clarke eyes me suspiciously before ascending to the top floor, Octavia and I following.

"HEY!" Clarke yells as she pounds on the door. "Hey, open the door!"

We see Miller after he opens the hatch. "Get out of my way, Miller." Clarke says. "Now!" He moves aside letting the tree of us in.

Clarke marches right up to the grounder, bringing the knife close to his face. "What is on this?" she asks.

"What are you talking about? Bellamy asks, coming behind her.

"He poisoned the blade. All this time, he knew Finn was gonna die no matter what we did. What is it? Is there an antidote?"

"Clarke, he doesn't understand you." Octavia tries to explain.

"The vials," Bellamy says running over to the small pack containing them. "Its gotta be in here."

Clarke tosses the knife aside while sifting through them. "They'd have to be stupid to have a poison around this long without having an antidote."

Clarke and Octavia continue to plead with the grounder but he remains silent.

As they continue to argue and yell, I hear their voices come in and out, like I'm under water. "Bellamy," I grunt. The room begins to spin and I lost my balance, grasping the wall for support. "I don't fell—"

"What's wrong with her?" Miller asks.

Bellamy shoves him out of the way and takes my face in his hands. "Hannah, what's wrong? Talk to me."

"Poison." I whisper, before collapsing in his arms, semi-conscious. Everything continues to happen in a blur as Bellamy gently lays me down, placing some rolled up cloth under my head for support. He wraps me in some blankets and that's when I realize I'm shivering.

"Did she get cut?" Octavia ask, but her voice remains distortd.

"Yes," Clarke said. "When the thunder hit, we all got knocked back and her arm got slashed." I feel Clarke bringing my arm out of the sleeve, "No, too many people." I say but Clarke has already exposed my arm, bandaged at the wrist and at the shoulder as well. I feel Clarke poking at my shoulder. I wince at the soreness.

Bellamy looks down at me, placing a kiss on my forehead before returning his attention to the grounder. Octavia runs at him and I hear arguments between them and Clarke. Finally, Bellamy looks over at me sadly before cutting a seatbelt loose. I close my eyes and turn my head away as I hear the blows and groans of pain.

"Clarke, he's getting worse!" I hear Raven faintly scream.

Bellamy picks up a screw and I turn my head again, only to hear the warbled groans from the grounder.

"What's taking so long?" I hear Raven's voice come closer.

"He won't tell us anything." Clarke says.

I feel a strange rumble in my body and my eyes roll back into my head as I violently shake. I do my best to stop, but I can't control it.

"She's seizing too!" Octavia says, running to hold me on my side.

I faintly hear the snap of electricity. Opening my eyes, I see Raven holding charged wires to the grounder's chest screaming, "He's all I have!" I close my eyes again.

Octavia drops hold of me, picking up the knife and sreams, "No more!"

"He's letting Finn die!"

Octaiva runs the blade down her arm. "He won't let me die."

"Octavia!" Bellamy cries, running towards his sister. She dodges his touch, kneeling down and pointing to the vials.

She holds up one with a clearer liquid. "This one?"

The grounder slowly nods.

She hands it to Clarke who runs down the stairs. Bellamy tries to talk to Octavia once again. I slowly sit up, trying to talk, as I feel everything building up inside of me.

Finally, Miller noticies. "I think she's gonna be sick." He says.

Bellamy quickly grabs a bucket and brings it in front of me as I throw up once more, groaning. He comes to sit behind me and rubs my back.

"Tell Clarke we need that antidote back up here when she's done!" He yells. Octavia hurries down the ladder. I meet eyes with the grounder and stare for a moment. "I don't think he's evil." I whisper to Bellamy. He coos, as he rubs my back. "Don't worry about him."

Octavia appears once again with the vial. "Drink this," she says "Finish it. I already took some."

Bellamy holds the vial to my mouth as I swallow down the contents, wincing at the taste.

"Tired," I whisper and Bellamy lays me back onto the makeshift cot. "When are we ever gonna get a good night's sleep?" I ask before closing my eyes.

* * *

I woke up to quiet, no more noise from the storm. Only the murmurs and movement of the 100. I looked over to see the grounder still tied up. I shifted to sit up.

"You're awake," Bellamy said coming to sit down next to me with some water. "Finn woke up a few minutes before you."

I stayed quiet as I accepted the drink.

"Hannah," Bellamy said moving in front of me. "You feeling okay?"

"This whole earth is hard, Bellamy." I said, tears springing to my eyes. "We've dealt with so much, so fast. I don't know if I can do this, if I should be here."

"Hey," he said grabbing my shoulders. "Underneath the pain you're dealing with is a hell of a lot of strength. Strength that we need down here."

"Thanks,"

"I mean it, Hannah. They sent you guys down here because you were, well, expendable, but also because a bunch of juvie kinds are tough."

I breathed out a laugh at that. Bellamy gave me a small smirk before leaning in once again closely. He was about to close the last bit of distance but I cut him off.

"But," I said, my voice drifting and my eyes wandering over to the grounder. "What about him?"

Bellamy stopped for a moment and sighed before addressing me again.

"Hannah, who we are, and who we have to be to survive are very different things."

I nod, allowing myself to fall into Bellamy's chest. "What are we gonna do?"

"Well, we have to clean up camp first." Bellamy said.  
"Wanna go?"

I nod, standing and following Bellamy outside to the bright air. The camp was trashed. Trees everywhere. Tents upsidedown.

"We'll get it cleaned up," he said, giving my hand a squeeze.

"I hope we can clean everything up." I reply, feeling as though a new fight with the grounders could just be beginning.


	13. Chapter 13

It took some time for us to clean up from the storm damage. Debri from the trees needed to be cleared, food and supplies needed to be reorganized, and we had to set out our tents once again. But, we joined together and got it done.

Raven fixed up the communications system, so we are able to see and talk to people back on the Ark. Abby and I talk every once in a while. Clarke often meets with the Chancellor to discuss how things are going on the ground.

All while the grounder was still chained upstairs. Sometimes in the middle of the night, I would hear Octavia sneak out of our tent quietly and I knew she would go up to see him when the night guard fell asleep. She'd sneak back in before first light.

Bellamy insisted on taking longer watches with the grounder. He's torn. I try to talk to him but he just pushes me away, telling me that I shouldn't be up there. That its dangerous for me. But I know. He talks tough and mean and dangerous, but when it comes down to it, he's not as scary. He didn't kill Raven when she landed in the pod. And when he was found hovering over Atom's burned body after the first real round of acid fog, he couldn't bring himself to end Atom's suffering. I just wished he would talk to me about it.

Sometimes, I would just sit with Bellamy when he was on watch.

I was staring at him, as he was staring ahead at the grounder, watching as he swayed from standing for so many hours straight, trying to figure things out. Exhaustion hung in the room. Bellamy looked aside for a moment as Miller entered, before staring straight ahead again.

"Did you talk to the Ark?" Bellamy asked flatly.

"I told Digg's mom the news, John's dad. I'm supposed to talk to Roma's parents later."

"Thank for doing that," Bellamy said, the sincerity coming back to his voice. "I owe you."

"Telling all these parent's that there kids were murdered by Grounders, I just wish I could say we were getting some justice."

"We're not killing him." Bellamy said, without skipping a beat. I gave his arm a reassuring squeeze.

Miller looked at us for a moment before turning and picking up some paste. He walked closely to the Grounder. Bellamy watched him but did nothing.

"You were a lot scarier when you had that face paint on." Miller sneered, slapping the paste onto his face.

The grounder snapped his head forward into Miller's, knocking him to the ground. I tried my best to stifle a laugh as Miller lay unconscious, but a small snort came out. Bellamy looked at me before looking ahead at the grounder once again.

"I'll go head downstairs and get some cool cloths for Miller's head." I said.

When I got down to the first floor, I saw Clarke was finishing up with her conversation with the Chancellor. "Oh, Hannah. Did you want to talk to anyone?"

"If you mean Kane, no. I'm sure he couldn't care less."

"He actually asked how you were doing."

"I hope you let him know that I didn't off myself, and that I haven't become Nigel 2.0."

"Hannah!"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't take it out on you."

"Okay, well I'm gonna go get Dax, his mom is up next then."

I grabbed some rags dipping them in cool water from one of the alcoves in the dropship. I walked back into the main area to see Dax sitting down at the computer with Shumway.

 _"Are you alone?"_ I heard the faint buzz of Shumway's voice.

Dax looked around, glaring at me for a moment. I quickly ran up the ladder, closing the hatch to the middle landing as I heard him say, "Yes."

I saw Octavia sitting at the edge of the ladder. "How come he lets you up there?" she asked.

"O, I know you snea-"

"Shhh!" she said, running up to cover my mouth. "I need to act jealous so Bell doesn't know that I do."

I rolled my eyes. "Bellamy says to get comfortable, Octavia."

Just as I mentioned Bellamy's name he came down the ladder from the top landing.

"I have the rags," I said.

"Miller's fine." he said. "O, you're still here."

"He saved my life and yours."

"Whatever twisted connection you think you have with that animal, forget it. You don't get to see him. End of conversation."

"Why do you even care if I ruined your life? You should want me to go up there. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll kill me, problem solved."

"Octavia you know I didn't mean that."

"Bellamy," Clarke said joining us on the middle landing.

"The answer is still no, I'm not talking to Jaha." Bellamy snapped.

"Hey, relax that's not why I'm here." she replied.

"What then?"

"The Ark found some records that show a supply depot not too far from here."

"What kind of supplies?" I ask.

"The kind that might give us a chance to live through winter. I'm gonna go check it out, I could use backup."

"Why are _you_ asking _me_?" Bellamy asks.

"Well, because right now, I don't feel like being around anyone I actually like."

I look at Octavia and a small smirk breaks through her upset composure, which Bellamy catches from the corner of his eye.

"Let me grab my stuff, I'll meet you in ten."

"Can I?" I began, pausing when Bellamy and Clarke looked at me funny. "Join you?" I finished in a small voice.

"No." Clarke said. "Stay back, help Jasper and Monty with the rations."

"Keep an eye on Octavia." Bellamy said, bringing me in for a hug. "She'll listen to you."

"Well you guys'll be back soon, right?"

"Its only a day trip." Clarke said, eyeing Bellamy strangely.

I walked out with Bellamy and Clarke, wishing them luck at the gate. Clarke started ahead but Bellamy looked at me for a moment before leaning in and giving me a kiss. He pulled away before I wanted him to, leaving me longing for his lips.

"What was that for?" I asked.

Bellamy just shrugged before walking behind Clarke. He turned back and looked longingly at both me, and then at Octavia, who poked her head out of the dropship door. I waved goodbye and he turned and left camp.

I walked over and joined Monty and Jasper, who were doing there special "high five". "I've been charged to help." I said, picking up some of the nuts and gathering them into bags. "Am I doing it right?"

The boys nodded. We joked, tossing nuts back and forth, playing catch when I noticed Dax sneak out of camp, sheathing a knife in the front pouch of his pack. "Hold on," I said, picking up a spare pack.

"Whats up?" Jasper asked.

"Something funny happened this morning with Dax," I began, remembering his conversation with Shumway. "You know, I'm sure its nothing, but I'm just gonna follow and see."

"Ooo some spy recon?" Monty asked, Jasper laughing and nudging him.

"Sure, something like that."

I threw some nuts into the pack, grabbing a knife of my own before following behind Dax.

Hearing the distant voices of Bellamy and Clarke, I figured that Dax must be following them for some reason. The two split up to find the door of the depot, Dax followed Bellamy.

The dots connected.

Bellamy did something to get on the dropship, he shot the Chancellor. He couldn't have done this of his own accord. He was a janitor after being discharged from the Guard program, Octavia imprisoned and his mother floated. The way Shumway spoke to Dax..

"Shumway gave him the gun," I whispered to myself. "And now that the Ark is coming down, Dax has to clean up the mess so no one knows how it really went down."

Then the dots really connected.

Dax was going to kill Bellamy.

I kept enough of a distance between myself and Dax, knowing that if he found me, he would probably kill me too. I had to think of a way to save Bellamy.

"No matter your plan, you need to remain grounded." Abby said.

I looked to my left to see her there. She had a hand on my arm. "Protect Bellamy, yes. But remain grounded."

I nodded, sneaking forward as Dax moved camped out near the bunker.

Dax camped out, and me behind him with Abby for a few minutes before we heard a gunshot echo in the bunker. Abby motioned me to stay put as Dax down into the bunker.

Bellamy emerged from the depot moments later, looking upset. His head cocked to the side, as if he heard someone call his name. He called out, "How are you here? You're on the Ark." I went to tap Abby on the shoulder, but she was gone. My mother there instead. And she was crying, her arms bloody as she held a shard of glass.

"Mom?"

"Hannah," she said. "I'm dying."

"Why?"

"Because I couldn't handle you. I never wanted you."

"But you never even gave me a chance?"

Abby again came up behind me, placing a supportive hand on my shoulder. I looked back to her. "Why don't you take this time to reconcile?"

I nodded, looking back. But it was Kane.

"No," I said shaking my head. "I can't" Tears were coming to my eyes.

"Hannah," he said, stepping forward. "I'm sorry."

"You got so cold, Dad. The job, it was too much and your heartbreak, it broke me."

"I'm sorry." he said again, tears in his eyes.

"I wish I could forgive you. But somehow,"

My father was knocked from view as Bellamy crashed past me, knocking me back.

"Hannah?" he asked.

"Yeah, its me."

"Is it really?"

"Well is it really you?"

"Yes." Bellamy leaned over, wiping his palms on his pants before leaning in to give me another kiss.

"I think those nuts were bad." I whispered. "Weird things are happening."

"I was being chased, the people from the culling on the Ark. They're going to kill me."

"My father, Kane, he wants to reconcile. And my mother." Tears sprang to my eyes. "She never even gave me a chance."

"C'mon, lets run away. Together."

I nodded, taking Bellamy's outstretched hand and ran.

Bellamy was quickly tackled. "Hannah, they're getting me!"

I looked up and saw Dax, answering Bellamy as he called out. Bellamy blinked, realizing his actual surroundings, as Dax pointed the gun, cocking it. "Nothing personal." he said.

"Put it down, Dax." Clarke said coming up with her own gun, pointing it at Dax.

"You should've stayed down there, Clarke. I tried not to kill you, but here you are, and Shumway said, no witnesses."

"What is he talking about?"

Bellamy went to speak but I spoke up first. "Shumway gave him the gun, Clarke."

Clarke quickly turned to me. "We told you to stay back."

"Yeah but I saw Dax leave and I heard Shumway ask him if he was alone before when he went in to talk to his parents. And I just had a feeling."

"Walk away now, both of you," Dax said. "And I won't kill you."

"Put. It. Down." Clarke ordered.

"Your choice."

Clarke pulled the trigger, but it just clicked. She ran and hid behind a tree as Dax fired the gun, a bullet shooting out.

"No!" Bellamy yelled, running and tackling Dax.

I watched in the haze and blur as the boys fought and Clarke fiddled with her gun. Abby stood across the field shaking her head. My mother next to her crying and bleeding. My father aloof. I felt my nails dig into my palms, unsure of what was actually happening.

I looked and saw Dax on top of Bellamy, the gun pressed down against his throat. I saw Dax's knife sticking out of his pack. I quietly and shakily stepped forward and grasped ahold of it.

"Get the hell off him!" Clarke ran forward but Dax pushed her back.

I ran up behind Dax, stabbing the knife into his neck.

Everything stopped for a second, I saw Abby, Kane, and my mother walk away fading to nothing. A haze seemed to lift from my eyes. Clarke and Bellamy looking at me with shock. Me, still holding onto the knife in Dax's neck as his blood spilled onto my hands. I loosened my grip, the knife sliding once again out of Dax's neck, more blood spilling as his lifeless body fell.

Bellamy crawled next to Clarke against a tree. "You're ok," she said, taking hold of his hand.

I watched them, still through a haze.

"No, I'm not," he said, his voice breaking.

"My mother...if she knew what I've done, who I am- She raised me to be better, to be good..."

"Bellamy," Clarke whispered.

"And all I do is hurt people. I'm a monster."

"Hey, you saved my life today," Clarke said. "You may be a total ass half the time, but I need you. We all need you. None of would've survived this place if it wasn't for you."

"If you want forgiveness," I spoke up, surprising myself. "Fine I'll give it to you. You're forgiven, okay?"

Bellamy looked at me for a moment, tears in his eyes.

"You can't run, Bellamy." Clarke continued. "You have to come back. You have to face it."

"Like you faced your mom?" he asked, looking at Clarke. He turned to me. "And faced Kane?"

I shuffled my feet.

"You're right," Clarke said. "I don't want to face my mom."

"I don't want to face any of it." I added, still clutching the knife and looking at Dax's body.

"All I think about everyday is how we're gonna keep everyone alive, but we don't have a choice," Clarke's voice began breaking.

"Jaha will kill me when he comes down." Bellamy said, sniffling.

"We'll figure something out." Clarke said. "We all will."

Clarke stood and slowly approached me. Her hand came over mine and she slowly took the knife from my hand. She led me to the tree, where I settled in between her and Bellamy.

"Can we figure it out later?" Bellamy asked.

"Whenever you're ready." Clarke said and leaned back against the tree.

* * *

Later on we gathered up all the guns and walked back to camp, hearing shouts about the Grounder being gone.

Bellamy walked forward saying, "Let the Grounders come. We've been afraid of them for far too long, and why? Because of their knives and spears. I don't know about you." He looked over to me. "I'm tired of being afraid." We unloaded the sacks off of our shoulders.

"These are weapons," Clarke said stepping forward. "Okay? Not toys. And we have to be prepared to give them up to the Guard when the dropships come. But until then, they're gonna help keep us safe."

"And there are plenty more where these came from," I added on. "Tomorrow we start training."

"And if the Grounders come," Bellamy adds. "We're gonna be ready to fight."


	14. Chapter 14

Shortly after we settled back in, I walked next to Octavia as she stared whistfully beyond the camp walls.

"You doing okay?" I asked.

She shrugged. "You?"

I shrugged.

"Been a rough day," I continued on. "I think for everyone."

Bellamy walked up behind us with two blankets, draping each over our shoulders. We clutched it tight to ourselves.

"Octavia, I don't expect you to forgive me. But you have to figure out a way to live with me." He said, touching her arm. "Because I'm not going anywhere."

"And Hannah, I know things have been hard but you have to keep fighting. We all have things to face."

"Bellamy," Clarke called. "Its time."

We gave Bellamy a small smile before he turned and followed Clarke into the dropship. He stopped for a moment, turning back to Octavia.

"That grounder escaping, was that you?"

"I had nothing to do with it." Octavia said, staring blankly ahead through the gap in the fence. She turned to face her brother. "Thanks for the blanket."

Bellamy looked back at her one more time before following Clarke into the dropship.

"He kissed me," Octavia said. "And then I let him go."

"What do you think is gonna happen?"

"I don't know," she said. "But I trust him, a lot more than some of the other people in this camp."

"I killed Dax." I said. Octavia looked at me. "Your brother was put up to the murder of Jaha. Shumway sent Dax to clean up before they come down. And we were all fighting, and hallucinating. And I stabbed him." I looked down to see that my hands were still covered in his dried blood.

"C'mon," Octavia said. "Let's get you cleaned up."

We started walking towards the water supply. "And your brother kissed me. Twice." I added.

Octavia froze for a moment before smiling. "He better not mess it up… Besides," Octavia said. "Tomorrow will be a good day."

"Thats right," I answered. "Unity Day."

* * *

"My friends," Jaha's distorted voice over the TV and radio said. "This is a historic Unity Day."

Raven had set up the monitor so we could watch comfortably. Some of the 100 hadn't seen Unity Day in years. Octavia had never seen it.

"Every year we mark the moment our ancestors of the 12 stations joined to form the Ark, but this is the last time we do so while aboard her. Next year...on the ground."

Applause breaks forth on the screen.

"Right," Miller chimes in. "After we did all the work. Someone shut him up."

"You shut up, Miller. No one's forcing you to watch." Raven answers.

We continued to listen to Jaha's speech, until Jasper came running in yelling, "Wooo! Yeah!" He holds up a barrel over his head. "Monty strikes again!"

He runs over as people start holding out cups. "Call this batch, 'Unity Juice'!"

As the majority of the 100 are distracted, I notice Octavia slip outside the walls of the camp. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Finn notice as well.

"To our sons and daughters on Earth," Jaha continues. "listening to this message. We will see you soon. The first Exodus ship will launch in under 60 hours, carrying the reinforcements that you need, so stay strong. Help is on the way."

Looking around, none of us are actually listen to him. It was a good thing Raven muted us.

"The pagent is starting!" Someone calls out.

Some others gather closer to the screen once again with their drinks talking about remembering when they were in the pagent, or gushing over younger siblings that were. My heart ached, remembering the year I was in the pagent. Kane looking at me so proudly and I recited the narration of our history. I see him in the background on the TV screen, smiling fondly at the girl reciting it now. I wonder if he is remembering as well.

"When all the stations were joined," she said. "They called themselves-"

"What the hell?" someone called.

"It cut out!"

"Who's drunk ass tripped over the wires?"

Raven runs around, tampering with the signal and different things. "Its not us!" she calls out. "Comms went out on their end."

"Someone's drunk ass tripped over their wires," someone joked again.

I smiled back to myself as the celebration went on throughout the day. Night fell, the warm light from the fires burning around as people continued to drink Monty's Moonshine and talk about the past, dream about the future. It was good to see us being kids for once.

Bellamy walked up behind me, snacking on some fruit. "Best Unity Day ever," he said, nudging me. I laughed.

"You seem chipper."

"Well, getting pardoned is something to smile about."

"I told you!" I said nudging his shoulder. "You would be okay." I paused looking out at the 100 again. "I'm not 100% sure that this is the smartest idea. A party with the grounder loose."

"Grounders. By now, he's made it home. He's probably putting together a lynch mob."

I shuffled nervously.

"Relax," Bellamy said, reaching out and squeezing my shoulder. "Security is covered."

I nod, noticing some of the older boys stationed around with the new guns.

"Why don't you go get a drink?" Bellamy suggests. "You look like you could use one."

"We all could. More than one." I answer.

"Then have more than one," he says. "Because when the first Exodus ship lands, party's over. You have to face your dad. Have some fun while you still can."

"You're right, you know, part of me thinks I should've talked to my father. Before the ships come down," I say, before taking his hand. "And you should join me."

"You'll have your time when he comes. But how about that drink? I'll have my fun when the Grounders get here." he says, trying to wriggle free.

"Nope," I say. "You're gonna drink with me and have fun tonight."

"Fine," he relents. "But not too much."

We walk up to Monty and Jasper, who are stationed by the jugs. "We'll take some moonshine." I say.

"Wow, Big Bad Bellamy is gonna have a drink." Jasper says. "This'll knock on your ass so you better watch it."

* * *

"You're not gonna get this," Clarke says as I hold the metal ring, lining up to toss it in one of the dishes.

"Oh stop," I say, tossing it.

It lands in, Clarke rolls her eyes, drinking back the liquid.

"What do you know," Bellamy says coming to sit next to me. "Her Highness can actually party. I like it."

"What are you gonna do when the guard comes down and commandeer Monty's still?"

"Build another one," one of the boys says, passing by and taking a swig.

A girl, named Fox, laughs as she sits next to us.

"Watch this," Clarke says, taking the ring and balancing it on her nose. "I can actually do this I promise." She tips her head forward watching as the ring lines up to land in the dish, when a hand catches it.

"Finn, what the hell?" I ask.

"Clarke," he says turning his attention to her. "Let's take a walk."

"O-kay." Clarke says, turning and giving us a face before walking off with him.

"He's not happy about the guns." I say to Bellamy. "Mentioned something about talking to the Grounders before."

"Like that'll ever happen." he says.

"Pacifists," I joke, allowing myself a hearty laugh.

"I don't know if I've ever heard you laugh so much," Bellamy says.

I feel heat rush to my cheeks.

"Its a great laugh," he adds on.

"Thanks," I say shyly.

"Let's take a walk," Bellamy says offering me his hand.

I take it and we venture just outside the gate.

"Should we really be out here?"

"Its quieter."

"Quieter for what?"

Bellamy leans in and kisses me. Its soft at first, but he deepens it and I am swept up. I am swept up until my mind wakes up and I break apart.

"Are you okay?" Bellamy asks, petting back my hair. "I'm sorry, I mean you kissed back before, I just thought…"

"No," I say, reaching up to touch his face. "I've just never..."

Bellamy smiles softly, before leaning in once again. "Don't be afraid."

"I'm safe with you," I whisper, closing the gap between us once again.

The innocence burns into passion and I wish my lungs didn't need breathe because I just wanted to keep kissing him. Panting, our foreheads touch as our fingers intertwine. "Best Unity Day ever." I whisper.

I feel Bellamy smile as he places a kiss on my forehead.

"Bellamy," we hear and quickly spin around to see Clarke. "Sorry," she adds on.

"Having fun yet, Princess?" Bellamy teases.

"I'm serious."

"You always are, so talk." Bellamy says, not letting go of my hand.

"Finn set up a meeting with Grounders."

Bellamy and I stand speechless.

"I'm leaving to go talk to them."

"Because you figure that impaling people on spear is code for 'lets be friends'." he replies. I shift uncomfortably on my feet. Bellamy gives my hand a small squeeze. "Have you lost your damn mind?"

"I think it might be worth a shot." she says. "I mean we do have to live with these people."

"Probably gut you, string you up as a warning." he says.

"Thats why I'm here." Clarke continues. "I need you to follow us, be our backup."

"Does Finn know about this?" he says.

"Finn doesn't need to know." I say. "Let's get the guns Bellamy."

"Hannah, no way."

"I want to come. You said it, I'm strong. I saved your ass from Dax, while tripping on those nuts. I'm coming. Besides," I added on. "Don't you forget I worked for Nigel."

 _"_ _Little Hannah Kane," Nigel said, pinching my cheeks. "Whats a royal girl like you doing in these here parts?"_

 _I rolled my eyes. "Just wandering. Wondering. The like."_

 _"_ _Why don't you wander your wondering self over here, girl."_

 _I walked over to her._

 _"_ _I've been watching you," she says taking my chin. "And you got something. A fire. But no one's letting it burn."_

 _"_ _Well, being the daughter of Marcus Kane…"_

 _"_ _No mind, Kane. I think I could put you to good use."_

"Hannah's right," Clarke says. "Get some water, and food. Watch for us to leave, wait a few and follow behind us."

Clarke walks away, leaving Bellamy and I alone.

"Hannah are you sure?" he asks. "You've been off your medication, you were poisoned. You killed someone, two people actually. Are you sure you aren't taking yourself too fast?"

"Bellamy, I was cold before I came down to Earth. And you've helped me to feel, so much. But I feel like I need to do this, to continue to expose myself. Stay active."

"Hannah, this isn't a jog. This is a negotiation. If things go wrong, it could get bad."

I swallow, looking down at my bandaged wrist, feeling my bandaged shoulder. "I need to do this."

* * *

The sun had risen over the treetops as we arrived at the bridge. Octavia was there pacing as Clarke and Finn approached her.

"What's Octavia doing here?" Jasper asked.

Bellamy visibly tensed when we saw the grounder running towards her. He picked her up in a warm embrace.

"Oh." Jasper said.

"I guess we know how he got away." Raven added.

Raven visibly tensed when Finn grabbed onto Clarke's hand.

"This could get interesting," I whispered to Bellamy. He simply scoffed.

Bellamy looked through the scope on his rifle as we heard clicking on the bridge.

"Wait," Raven said pointing. "Look."

"Horses," We all breathed in wonder.

Two Grounders in their usual masked attire rode in on black horses, while a fierce looking woman, with dark war paint around her eyes rode in on a brown one.

We looked to see that they had spears with them.

"Hey! We said no weapons!" We heard Finn cry.

Clarke and the Fierce-Grounder Woman slowly approached each other on the bridge. They began talking. Clarke extended her hand in greeting but the woman just stared at her, her stance cold and aloof. I shuddered, she reminded me of my father, but much much worse.

They continued talking, the woman remaining cold and Clarke doing her best to be transparent.

"Grounder Princess looks pissed." Raven said, looking through her scope.

"Our Princess has that effect." Bellamy said.

"Oh, no." We hear Jasper whisper and whip around to see him looking through his scope at the trees. "No. This is bad."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bellamy asks.

"There's grounders in trees." he whispers. I hear the panic rising in his voice.

"What?" Raven asks.

"Where?" Bellamy adds.

"Are you sure?" I continue, looking through my own scope.

"I don't see anything." Bellamy adds.

Everything happens so fast.

"They're gonna shoot." Jasper says before raising his voice. "Clarke, run!"

He breaks out from out cover and aims his gun at the trees yelling, "Run!"

The two grounders fall from the trees.

The Grounder Princess takes out a small knife, but Bellamy shoots her in the arm.

"Clarke, get down!" Finn yells, motioning for her to do so.

The grounders begin their retreat as we do the same once we run out of the limited ammo we brought.

One of the grounders on a black horse shoots one more arrow aiming for Octavia, I quickly aim my gun and shoot, but its too late. The arrow flies. Octavia's Grounder jumps in front of her, taking it in his chest. He pushes Octavia towards Clarke and Finn as she screams, "Lincoln, no!"

Lincoln yells for her to go before running in the woods after his people.

We continue to run, not stopping until we get back to camp. We stop to catch our breaths and all notice the look Finn has in his eyes.

"You got something to say?" Bellamy spits.

"Yeah. I told you no guns!" Finn barks back.

"I told you we couldn't trust the Grounders, I was right!" Clarke yells.

"Why didn't you tell me what you were up to?" Raven asks.

"I tried," Finn answers Raven. "But you were too busy making bullets for your gun."

"You're lucky she brought that!" Bellamy yells again.

"They came there to kill you, Finn!" I add on.

"You don't know that, Jasper fired the first shot!"

"You ruined everything." Octavia says to Jasper, breaking his heart. She walks away.

"I saved you!" He yells to her back. "You're welcome." He adds on quietly before following her inside.

"Well if we weren't at war already, we sure as hell are now." Finn concludes. "You didn't have to trust the grounders, you just had to trust me."

I roll my eyes.

Finn scoffs before walking into camp, followed by Clarke and Raven.

Leaving Bellamy and I.

"Like I said," Bellamy says. "Best Unity Day ever."

"Hey," I say, taking his hand. "It was good before all this, remember?"

Bellamy sighs, bringing my hand up to his lips. "You did good back there."

"Thanks," I smile.

We lean in and share another kiss. But we are quickly broken apart by an explosion in the sky.

"The Exodus ship?" Bellamy asks. "Your dad's early."

"Oh," I say as we continue to watch the sky.

But we quickly notice that something is wrong. "Wait." I say. "Too fast. No parachute? Something's wrong."

My fears are confirmed when the ship crashes into the Earth, exploding, a big mushroom cloud coming up over the trees.

I fall to my knees, Bellamy quickly placing his hand on my shoulder.


	15. Chapter 15

I found myself standing next to Clarke overlooking the wreckage of the Exodus ship. We left early morning and it took us most of the day to arrive at the sight. She grasped onto my hand when we saw the burnt skeletons, the severed arm with a wedding band still on the finger. The mantra of regrets plays on in my mind, I'm sure in Clarke's as well.

Bellamy and some other boys were walking through the rubble with guns. Raven called out orders for them to find the ship's black box so she can find out what went wrong.

We started walking through the rubble together. We remained quiet, our hands still joined.

I saw Finn talking to Raven and gesturing towards Clarke. Bellamy kept looking over at me with worry.

"They don't think we should be here." I said.

"Its better that we see, so we can try to make some sense of it all. Mystery would be worse."

"The trauma of the land probably killed them," I said looking around to all the bones. "At least they didn't slowly burn."

"Or they exploded." Clarke answered. "No matter how you look at this, they all died."

I nodded.

"Stay sharp," Bellamy called. "Grounder retaliation for what happened at the bridge is coming, just a matter of when."

"Do you blame then?" Finn called back.

"No, I blame you." Bellamy barked.

"Well maybe if you didn't bring those guns-"

"If we didn't bring the guns we would've all been killed." Raven joins.

I roll my eyes, trying to block out all the arguments.

"Why they're coming doesn't matter anymore." I call back. "Its our job to be ready when they do."

Thankfully they shut up, but it wouldn't be long before another argument started. People had been trying to make sense of the bridge all last night, and all this morning. It was getting exhausting. Everything about Earth is exhausting.

"We're on our own now." I add on, my voice breaking at the end.

I look over to Clarke to see that she hadn't been paying any attention, but looking at this purple liquid. She leans forward but comes up again quickly clenching her nose.

Raven comes running over. "Clarke, stop!"

Finn and Bellamy follow.

"Rocket fuel?" she asks.

"Hydrazine." Raven answers. "Highly unstable in its non-solid form. If this stuff meets fire, we're all pink mist."

She carefully dipped a small rock in the mixture.

"Fire in the hole!" she yells before throwing the rock into one of the small flames.

As soon as the rock hits the fire, a large explosion erupts. Bellamy leans back from it.

"We need to clear the area." Raven says.

"Ok, then." Bellamy answers before calling out to everyone else. "We move in formation, no straggling, weapons hot! We got to get back before dark."

* * *

We arrived back to camp to lots of commotion. Bellamy, Clarke, and I looked at each other before leading the charge inside.

"What happened?" Bellamy asked.

"Murphy." A girl said to us.

Bellamy took off running into the dropship.

I gasped when we got inside.

Sure enough, there Murphy was. But he was not the Murphy who we banished. He was crouched into a corner, many of the 100 surrounding him. His hands were shaking and he was covered in blood.

"You don't have to stay in here." Bellamy whispered.

"I'm fine." I said.

"We got him sneaking back into camp." Connor said.

"I wasn't sneaking back in. I was running from the Grounders." Murphy answered smally.

"Did anyone see Grounders?" Bellamy asked.

No one spoke up.

"Well, in that case." Bellamy said lifting up his gun.

"Hey woah, woah." Finn said, stepping in front of Bellamy's gun. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"We were clear what would happen if he came back!"

"No, if he was with the Grounders, then he knows things that can help us."

"Help us?" We hanged him. We banished him, and now we're gonna kill him. Get the hell out of my way."

"No." Clarke said, stepping forward, closer to Murphy. He shrunk back against the wall even more. "Finn is right."

"Like hell he is!"

"Bellamy," I whispered, placing my hand against his arm, lowering his gun.

"Think about Charlotte." Bellamy said shrugging me off.

"I am thinking about her." Clarke answered. "But what happened to Charlotte was as much our fault as his." She picked up Murphy's shaking hand, examining his fingers. "He's not lying." she concluded. "His fingernails were torn off. He was tortured."

I visibly shuddered at the thought.

"You and the Grounders should compare notes." Finn says.

"The Grounders know we're at war." Bellamy answered.

"Shut up, both of you." I say.

"What did you tell them about us?" Bellamy asks Murphy.

"Everything." he says quietly.

We are all silent for a moment, before Clarke stands and turns around. "Once he's better, we find out what he knows, and then he's out of here, ok?" She goes to leave the dropship.

"What if he refuses to leave?" Bellamy asks. "What do we do with him then?"

"Then we kill him." Clarke says and leaves.

People start to file out after her but I stay and just stare at Murphy. I slowly walk up to him. "I'm so sorry." I say and grab a bucket with water and sit down in front of him.

"What do you care?" he scoffs.

"You're a total ass, Murphy. And you've made my life a lot harder down here." I take one of his hands and start wiping the blood away. "But no one deserves this."

"I'm sorry," Murphy says and I stop.

"What?"

"There was a lot of medicine in that bag."

"Where is it?"

"Gone. The Grounders took all my stuff."

I remain silent as I continue to wash off Murphy's hands.

"I can take it from here," he says.

I look up and that's when I notice it. "Murphy, your eyes."

"What about them?" he asks.

"You're bleeding from your eyes." I quickly stand up, and fall backwards over the water bucket, spilling it everywhere.

Bellamy instantly comes running into the dropship. "Hannah!" he says, picking me up. "What happened?"

"I tripped. But Murphy."

"Who cares about him? Hannah, you're bleeding." he says, wiping at my eyes.

"Bellamy wash your hands."

"What?"

"Wash them. Murphy's sick and so am I."

As we argue, Clarke comes running in, dried blood running down her cheeks, just as Murphy vomits blood into the bucket.

She walks up to him. "Murphy, hey, look at me."

"Clarke," Bellamy begins but she shushes him.

"I need you to tell me exactly how you escaped from the Grounders."

"I don't know, I woke up and they forgot to lock my cage. There was no one there, so I took off."

"They let you go." Clarke whispered.

Bellamy takes a step towards Clarke.

"Stay back," she warns.

"What the hell is this?" he asks.

"Biological warfare. We were waiting for the Grounders to retaliate for the bridge, well, this is it. Murphy's the weapon."

I run over to the bucket and begin to cough up blood. Bellamy instinctively runs over and rubs my back.

"Bellamy." I groan.

"No," he says. "I don't wanna leave you in here by yourself."

He stands back up and begins yelling at Murphy, Clarke arguing back.

I try to stand, but waver. I stumble over to one of the hammocks in the dropship and fall in it just as I hear.

"Octavia was the first one to get to him."

Bellamy looks at me for a moment. "Where is she?"

* * *

I watched in a haze as Clarke shone a light in Octavia's mouth, Bellamy standing next to her with a cloth over his mouth. More sick people brought into the dropship, collapsing in various places.

"Ok. We're done." Clarke says switching off the light. "No visible signs of bleeding or swelling."

"So you're saying she doesn't have it?" Bellamy asks, looking over at me.

"I'm saying she doesn't have symptoms but that could change. We need to keep her here just in case."

"No way. Look at this place, she'll get sick just being here."

Octavia shuffled back and forth as Clarke and Bellamy argued, smiling softly at me.

"Look, I'll keep her on the third level with the people who aren't symptomatic yet. Think of it as a way to keep her from sneaking out again."

"Screw you, Clarke." Octavia says rolling her eyes. But Bellamy is convinced. "I'll let you know if her condition changes." Clarke assures and Bellamy walks out.

Octavia grabs onto a step of the ladder before Clarke stops her. "I need you to sneak out again."

Octavia and I share a smirk before she sneaks out of the dropship.

Clarke walks over to me in my hammock. "How are you feeling?"

"As great as you are," I groan. "You should rest, Clarke."

"No, I have to take care of people."

As she talks, one of the other girls starts coughing uncontrollably, blood coming out of her mouth in clumps. She coughs once more, her body shaking until she lies still.

Clarke runs over and checks her pulse. "This is the second one." she says, gesturing for two boys to carry the girl's body outside.

I go to shakily stand and join Clarke as she walks outside.

Everyone is gathered around, starting at the two bodies and then Clarke and I.

"All right, shows over!" Bellamy calls. "Get back to your posts."

He walks over a little closer, but still keeping a good enough distance.

"You got enough food in there, water?" he asks.

"Yeah," Clarke says.

"Some medicine might be nice." I add on tiredly.

Bellamy smirks, "I'll see what I can do."

He pauses before calling in. "Octavia, you ok?"

Clarke and I look at each other. Bellamy takes a step forward.

"Wait," Clarke says. "She's not here. I sent her to see Lincoln."

Bellamy shifts on his feet, looking at me to see if I knew she was gone. I look down at my feet.

"Look. If there's a cure, he has it. I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't let her go."

"If anything happens to her," he says looking over to me as well. "You and me are gonna have problems."

"Bellamy!" Clarke calls out weakly.

He walks away yelling at a boy. When the boy turns, we see the blood dripping down his eyes. "Get to the dropship." Bellamy says. "Now!"

Hysteria soon breaks out.

Another girl collapses onto Raven, coughing blood up into someone else's face. People are soon pointing their guns at one another and shouting.

I walk into the dropship and grab a gun leaning against the wall before returning outside and shooting it three times into the sky.

Everyone stops, silent. I look to Clarke.

"This is exactly what the Grounders want." She says, stepping forward. "Don't you see that? They don't have to kill us if we kill each other first."

"They don't have to kill us, if we all catch the virus." A boy says, pointing his gun at Clarke. "Get back in the damn dropship!"

Bellamy rolls his eyes before taking the kids gun and elbowing him in the face. The kid stutters and falls before stepping back into the crowd.

"Clarke, the quarantine isn't working." I say, but Clarke is staring ahead. She wavers on her feet, her arm limply dropping down, the gun clattering to the floor. Finn runs forward. "Finn don't touch her!" Raven calls. But its too late, Finn catches Clarke with ease.

"Hey let me go." Clarke whispers. "I'm ok. Octavia will come back with a cure."

"There is no cure." Octavia says, running into the center of the group. "But the grounders don't use the sickness to kill."

"Really?" Bellamy asks, pointing to the two bodies. "Tell that to them."

"I warned you about seeing that Grounder again," Bellamy continues.

"Yeah? Well, I have a warning for you, too." Octavia answers, before calling out. "The Grounders are coming. And they're attacking at first light."

Octavia walks forward, helping Finn get Clarke inside as Bellamy and I stare at each other.

"How many bullets can you make by first light, Raven?" I ask.

She just looks at me. She's upset about Finn, I know it. "Raven?" I repeat.

"Yeah," she says, shaking herself out of her trance. "I'll get on it."

I walk back into the dropship. Clarke is asleep in the hammock and Octavia is giving someone water, while Murphy and Finn talk about the Grounders.

"Raven is making as many bullets as she can." I say.

"We need to slow them down." Finn answers before leaving the dropship.

* * *

Even with half the 100 in the dropship, quarentined, news from the outside traveled in fast.

"Finn wants to build a bomb?" Octavia asks me, while holding a cool rag on someone's forehead.

Octavia was right, the sickness passes quickly. Along with Murphy, the three of us were helping people stay comfortable and hydrated until it passed.

In the corner, Conner starts coughing intensely. "Hey Murphy?" Octavia calls out. "Clarke says to roll them on their side when that happens."

"I'm on it." he says and goes over to Conner.

"Come on. Come on. Get on your side." Murphy says approaching Conner. Conner looks at him nervously. "You're okay. I got you." Conner coughs up some blood onto his blanket. "Just breathe." Murphy says before rolling him back onto his back. "Alright. Listen to me. You and me are good, okay?"

Conner took a deep breath in. "I put the rope around your neck. Why are you helping me?"

"Bygones." Murphy says.

I stand to help the next person until I hear someone else being shuffled into the dropship. "Bell?" Octavia asks. She looks at the person she is helping and to me. "I got this." I say.

"Clear some space!" I yell out. "Lay him down."

Bellamy drops onto some blankets in the middle of the floor. I roll him onto his side as he coughs some blood up. I pat his back, making sure he got it all out before rolling him back onto his back. "You're okay." I say. "Its my turn to help you out." Bellamy nods, tiredly blinking his eyes. "Get some rest." Octavia says from behind me. She kneels next to her brother. "I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

"Thats what I said the day you were born." Bellamy whispers.

"I know. You told me that like a thousand times."

"I'm glad you're here," Bellamy says grabbing onto the both mine and Octavia's hands.

I smile to Octavia before getting up to help some other people.

"Just get some rest," she says to her brother.

"Jasper," he whispers.

I stop, moving closer back to Bellamy.

"What about Jasper?" I ask.

"I sent Jasper to take the shot." Bellamy manages to say. "Hannah,"

"Get some rest, Bellamy. It'll be okay."

Octavia wipes at his forehead, looking at me as I stand and grab a gun, exiting the dropship.

* * *

I ran quickly through the forest, trying my best to remember the way to the bridge, Bellamy's words ringing through my heads. _"I sent Jasper to take the shot."_

First I hear warm drums. I look up to the sky and see the sun making its first peaks out from the mountains. The Grounders were coming.

Next I hear gunshots. Gunshots, but no explosion.

"Jasper." I breathe and run.

As I came over the ridge close to the bridge, I first see Finn holding Raven huddled near a tree stump, yelling over to Jasper. "Jasper, shoot!" My eyes search some more and I see Jasper. He pulls the trigger and misses.

The Grounder's torches from the other side of the bridge, remain in their place, but once they hear silence they make their move to the bridge.

Jasper fires some more shots until his clicks.

I see Monty run from behind and give Jasper another gun. I hear my heart pounding in my ears, the adrenaline coursing through my body.

Jasper shoots and misses once again. I see Bellamy's face, the look of fear.

The Grounders start to make their way onto the bridge. The war drums beat louder.

Jasper fires another stray shot and the Grounders retreat. I feel a rush of panic, wanting to come in and take over.

I look at my own gun in a sort of daze.

"I have to do this," I whisper to myself and perch down behind my own rocks and aim my gun.

I take a deep breath and remember everything Abby taught me about staying in the moment, staying calm.

I fire the gun.


	16. Chapter 16

_Previously on the 100 (end of Chapter 15):_

 _I ran quickly through the forest, trying my best to remember the way to the bridge, Bellamy's words ringing through my heads. "I sent Jasper to take the shot."_

 _First I hear warm drums. I look up to the sky and see the sun making its first peaks out from the mountains. The Grounders were coming._

 _Next I hear gunshots. Gunshots, but no explosion._

 _"Jasper." I breathe and run._

 _As I came over the ridge close to the bridge, I first see Finn holding Raven huddled near a tree stump, yelling over to Jasper. "Jasper, shoot!" My eyes search some more and I see Jasper. He pulls the trigger and misses._

 _The Grounder's torches from the other side of the bridge, remain in their place, but once they hear silence they make their move to the bridge._

 _Jasper fires some more shots until his clicks._

 _I see Monty run from behind and give Jasper another gun. I hear my heart pounding in my ears, the adrenaline coursing through my body._

 _Jasper shoots and misses once again. I see Bellamy's face, the look of fear._

 _The Grounders start to make their way onto the bridge. The war drums beat louder._

 _Jasper fires another stray shot and the Grounders retreat. I feel a rush of panic, wanting to come in and take over._

 _I look at my own gun in a sort of daze._

 _"I have to do this," I whisper to myself and perch down behind my own rocks and aim my gun._

 _I take a deep breath and remember everything Abby taught me about staying in the moment, staying calm._

 _I fire the gun._

* * *

Jasper, Monty, Raven and Finn all look over to me once the initial haze from the blast clears.

"I am become death. Destroyer of worlds." I whisper to myself as I see the mushroom cloud.

Jasper and Monty run over to me while Finn carries Raven.

"Hannah, I..." Jasper begins.

I nod. "I know. Its okay."

I look back over and see the faint haze of chaos on the other side of the bridge.

"We need to go," I say. "Now."

We begin the trek back to the dropship.

I look over to Finn as we walk and we share a sad look.

* * *

"There!" I hear Harper call. "They're back."

Monty and Jasper smile triumphantly to each other as they walk through the gates, everyone cheering.

Finn carries Raven into the dropship, Clarke following behind.

Bellamy comes up to me and embraces me, placing a kiss on the top of my head.

But I don't smile at the warmth that builds inside.

After he lets go, I walk straight ahead, into my tent.

I lay down on my bed.

And I cry.

I cry quietly at first and when Bellamy follows, I send him away telling him that I'm just tired and need to rest.

Octavia follows, tears in her own eyes.

"I let him go," she whispers.

"He wanted me to go with him, to go east. But I knew-" She stopped as her voice broke. "I knew that I couldn't leave you, my people."

I call Octavia over and she crawls into my cot with me.

"Octavia, I killed more people today."

She turns and looks at me, silent understanding in her eyes. We were both broken. We were both tired. We were both mourning.

So we laid there, quietly, sniffling back our tears as we thought, _how did I end up here?_

* * *

The following two days were spent reinforcing. Reinforcing rules, guard, food.

"Let's get this party smokin'," Del said, carrying in some firewood.

I was in the meat house with Octavia, Del and Murphy.

"You don't want the fire too big so maybe just knock it down with some wet leaves," Octavia said.

"You get that from your boyfriend." Del answered. "Grounder pounder?"

Octavia turned and shot Del a nasty look. I fought the urge to punch him in the face.

"She's right," Murphy said. "A hot fire's not gonna preserve the meat as well."

"You can't take the heat, get out of the smokehouse." Del replied. "You should be kissing our asses for being allowed back in this camp. Just keep working." He walked out.

"Bellamy couldn't get you two better jobs." Murphy said. "I would think anything would be better than working in the meat furnace."

"Oh probably," I said. "That just means someone else would have to do it."

Octavia, Murphy and I kept working. Del came back and kept adding wood. We would tell him to stop, but he didn't listen. Finally Octavia ran to get some wet leaves herself.

"Fire!" someone called out and I looked over to see that the whole meathouse was full of smoke. I coughed and covered my mouth with my t-shirt and tried to find my wait out without knocking into the fire. I felt someone pull me out. Looking up, I saw Murphy was pulling me out and passing me off to Bellamy. People gathered quickly around the smokehouse. Bellamy put me down on a log while Octavia fetched me some water. I coughed harshly, gulping the water down.

Murphy got up and ran at Del. "This is all your fault." he said getting up and pushing him. "We told you that there was too much wood!" Murphy punched Del in the face. The two quickly started fighting. Bellamy jumped in to break it up. "Hey! Save it for the grounders!"

"Bell, now what the hell are we gonna do?" Octavia called. "That was all the food."

She was right.

* * *

We decided that our best bet was to go hunting. All the remaining of the 100 paired of into groups of two or three and took a gun and spears to try and get us some substantial food. Like Clarke said there was no way we were going to fight the Groundrs if we were starving.

So Clarke, Finn, this kid Myles and myself set out to hunt. And Finn quickly picked up on a boar trail. Myles talking nonstop the whole time.

Finn crouched down to look closer at the prints, "You know what the best of a boar is?" Myles asked. "Its gonna sound gross but-"

"Myles, quiet." I finally snapped. And he shut up.

I knelt down next to Finn and Clarke. "What is it?"

"These tracks," Finn said. "They're perfect."

"Too perfect." Clarke added. "We're being hunted."

Myles stood up again, looking through the scope of his gun. "I don't see anything."

All of a sudden, Myles took an arrow the leg and chest.

"Myles!" Clarke said, leaning over him.

"We have to leave him," Finn said, the two of us breaking out into a run.

But we ran straight into the grounders.

As we fell, I looked up and saw the face of the Grounder Princess that Clarke met on the bridge looking down at me. She whispered something in her language to the grounder next to her and they put a bag over my head.

* * *

When I came to, I was alone in a room, my hands chained to the wall I was facing. I tried to turn and get a full view of my surroundings, but the chains didn't have much give.

"Hannah kom Skaikru." The Grounder princess said.

I remained silent, head up facing straight ahead at the wall.

"Move her chains," the woman said and I was unhooked from the wall.

I got up and tried to wriggle free from my chains. I swung and hit one of the guards in the face, knocking him back. But another grabbed me and sat me in a chair, securing my chains to the leg, shortening the amount of give even more.

"I will save you have some fight in you. If you weren't scum from the sky, I might consider you to have the potential to be a great warrior."

I remained quiet.

"You also know when to hold your tongue." she said, coming to sit in front of me. "I am Anya, of the Tree People."

Still, I said nothing.

"Your friends are off dealing with another problem, but I wanted to address to assasin who singlehandedly took out so many men from my army."

"The bomb took them out. I just ignited the bomb."

"From what I've heard, you've killed many."

I decided to remain quiet again.

"The boy after the fog, the little girl, the assasin, my warriors..." Anya said and looked at me for a long moment before leaving.

* * *

They left me alone for what seemed like hours.

Finally Anya and another warrior came back in.

"Clarke failed." Anya said. "So the boy dies."

"What?" I said, jumping up.

"I will take no pleasure in his death," Anya continued. "But I meant what I said, you would be a great warrior. Prove your worth and you will be welcome here."

She turned and left, leaving me with the other warrior.

"Anya's second has died." The warrior said.

"Her second?"

"Like an apprentice. She was a young girl, Tris. She was on the bridge."

"Why would I be welcome here?"

"Anya now has no second. She would take you on."

"Will I be able to go back and see them? My friends, my home?" I asked, quietly working to loosen the slack on my chains.

"Soon there will be nothing to go back to."

I stopped for a moment and gathered the chains. I stood slowly. "Those marks on your shoulder. Lincoln has them, too. What do they mean?"

"One for every kill in combat."

"How many do you have?"

He unfastened his top and revealed a whole patch of his skin that was covered in marks. I saw a key dangling from a chain on his arm.

"That's a lot."

"Half of them were after I hurt my knee."

I raised my eyebrow and looked to see that he put more weight on his left leg, so I kicked the right knee. He went down and I wrapped my chains around his neck and pulled as hard as I could until he moved no more. "I guess this would be my fifth mark," I said and took they key and let myself free.

* * *

I took off running as hard as I could into the night. I grabbed a few small knives and daggers off of the grounder before going.

I ran until I physically couldn't any more.

I heard some footsteps and crept down into the bushes. I grasped my hand tightly around the dagger.

"Damn it Monty, pay attention."

My eyes opened wide in surprise and I lept out of the bushes. Bellamy stopped and aimed his gun at me. I froze with my hands up, holding my breath.

"Hannah?" Bellamy asked.

I nodded slowly and he ran forward, embracing me tightly. "I thought,"

"I'm okay," I whispered.

We heard more rustles and we froze, but Octavia and Raven stepped forward.

"Hannah!" Octavia said running to give me a hug.

"Any word from Finn or Clarke?" Raven asked.

I shook my head. "I haven't seen them since I was taken."

We heard a quiet moan from the bushes. Everyone froze. Slowly I approached the bushes and parted them.

"Myles!" I exclaimed.

"Raven, I'm sorry," Bellamy said from behind me.

"We need to make a stretcher." Raven said, her voice shaking.

Bellamy spoke into a small radio. "Monty, we're heading back home."

There was no response. "Monty?"

"Monty!"

There was silence.

"Damn it," Bellamy said, kicking at the ground. "C'mon," he called to everyone. "We need to get Myles back to camp."

* * *

We settled Myles into the dropship just as light was breaking through the trees.

People were arguing and bickering, tempers were running hot. Most of all, people were nervous because Clarke, Finn, and now Monty were missing.

And another moaning kid was dying inside the dropship.

And no one from the Ark was going to save us.

I was sitting with Myles when Bellamy and Jasper came in, clearly arguing about something.

"You didn't think this way when it was your sister," Jasper said before stepping a foot onto the ladder.

"Where are you going?"

"To go work on your gunpowder, sir!" Jasper said, mocking a salute before walking up the ladder.

I looked at Bellamy for a moment.

"Water," Myles moaned.

"I'll get it," Bellamy said and walked away.

I followed Jasper up the stairs. He was looking at the can of gun powder, _This crap will blow your face off._

I smiled, "Raven has a funny way of communicating things."

Jasper nodded. "He's my best friend, and all I want to do is go find him."

"Jasper, we'll never be able to find him if we all die in the process."

"That's what people thought for me, and you still came."

"We didn't know an army of grounders was coming for us any day."

 _"This is for tying the noose that they used to hang me,"_ We heard from downstairs along with muffled shouting.

Jasper and I crept down the ladder to see Murphy holding a bag over Myles's head. He quickly moved it aside. "He stopped breathing, I was trying to help him."

"Is he dead?" I asked, walking to check his pulse, but Murphy punched me in the face, knocking the wind out of me. I heard him and Jasper talking. Jasper's hand in his pocket.

"You know what they'll do to me if you tell Bellamy." Murphy said.

 _"Tell Bellamy what?"_ Bellamy said from over the walkie.

"Give me the radio, Jasper."

Jasper slowly took the radio out of his pocket and lifted it. "Murphy has a gun, he killed Myles and has Hannah and I-"

Murphy ran forward and knocked Jasper in the face with the butt of the gun. Jasper fell unconscious.

Murphy ran up and closed the dropship door. I could hear Bellamy yelling from outside. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"You try to be a hero," Murphy yelled through the closing door. "They both die."


	17. Chapter 17

Murphy had Jasper and I both gagged and bound sitting next to each other next to Myles's dead body. Jasper had scared tears in his eyes. I turned and looked to Jasper with a reassuring glance, wishing I could reach out and grab his hand and let him know that we were gonna be okay. That after all we'd been through we were not gonna die at the hands of John Murphy.

But the truth was, I didn't know that.

"Murphy!" I heard Octavia call from outside. "Murphy if you even touch my friends, I swear to God, you're dead."

"Octavia, I got this!"Bellamy shouted back.

Murphy smirked as he heard them argue.

 _"Murphy,"_ Bellamy's voice cracked over the radio. _"I know you can hear me. All our ammo and food is in the middle level. You know that. You're leaving us vulnerable to an attack. I can't let that happen."_

Murphy picked up the radio. "Yeah, well, in case you haven't noticed you aren't exactly in control right now."

 _"Come on Murphy. You don't want to hurt Jasper, or Hannah, you want to hurt me."_

My eyes widen and I began to struggle against the tight bonds that held my wrists behind my back.

 _"So what do you say? How about you trade them for me?"_

Murphy looked at me and smirked. "I'd say your girlfriend is pissed."

I tried to yell something out, but the gag was tied too tightly, the fabric cutting into my cheeks.

 _"All you have to do is let them go, and I'll take their place."_

I saw Murphy considering the option. "How?" he asked.

 _"Simple. You open the door, I walk in, they walk out."_

Murphy fiddled with the radio some more. I went still, silently hoping that Bellamy had some other plan.

Murphy walked over and opened the dropship door. "Just you Bellamy, unarmed. Ten seconds or I'll put one in Hannah's leg!" He began counting. Once he got to five, Bellamy called out. "I'm here!"

Murphy picked Jasper up and threw him out of the dropship. I heard him tumble down the landing as Bellamy walked in. I went to try to stand but Murphy was already closing the door.

"What the hell, Murphy!" Bellamy yelled. "You said both of them!"

"I technically didn't say anything."

I whimpered, once again trying to say something. Bellamy ran over to me and placed his hands on my face. He looked me over, making sure Murphy hadn't hurt me. I nodded, trying to communicate that I was okay. Bellamy went to losen my gag.

"Don't touch her," Murphy ordered, pointing the gun at me. Bellamy raised his hands and stepped back.

The two started arguing. Arguing about the grounders coming, about how things went down Charlotte. Finally Murphy had enough of arguing and shot at the ladder. We both froze. "That's good," he said. "Then do what I said."

 _"Bellamy?"_ Octavia's worried voice came over the radio. Murphy smirked, reaching for the radio in his pants. _"Bellamy! Are you ok? Is Hannah ok?"_

"Want her to know you're alive?" Murphy asked, shaking the radio. "Start tying."

 _"Bellamy! Do you copy?"_

Bellamy knelt down and started tying two of the seatbelts together. "I'm fine," He said. "Just a misfire. Now stop worrying about me and get back to work all of you... And tell Raven to hurry her ass up."

"All right now get up and toss it over." Murphy ordered.

Bellamy just looked at Murphy before standing and doing it. Murphy continued smirking. "What do you want me to say?" Bellamy asked. "You want me to apologize? I'm-" Bellamy went to step forward but Murphy raised his gun, keeping Bellamy back. "I'm sorry."

"You got it all wrong, Bellamy." Murphy responded, the smirk still on his face. "I don't want you to say anything. I want you to feel what I felt and then... And then I want you to die."

Bellamy and I looked up at the rope hanging from the rafter of the dropship. Bellamy had just tied his own noose.

"No!" I whimpered through my gag, kicking my feet, trying to loosen the bonds. "Murphy," I tried to go on, but choked at the tightness of the strap around my face.

Murphy ran over and hit the butt of the gun into my face, silencing me, leaving a throbbing in my head.

"Why didn't you let her go, Murphy?" Bellamy asked.

"She's just as guilty as you." Murphy said.

"No, Clarke and I banned you."

"I'm not talking about Earth, Bellamy. This bitch has been guilty since the Ark."

* * *

 _"Nigel," I said, sneaking into the mess hall. "I have the guard schedules and the list of lock codes. What do you need?"_

 _"That's my girl. You know you remind me of someone."_

 _"Who?"_

 _"She was a bright young thing, even looked like you but nevermind that."_

 _But before she could continue, another man came barging into the mess hall._

 _"Dinner isn't for another three hours." Nigel spat without turning to see who it was._

 _"I'm not here for dinner." the man said._

 _Nigel's eyebrow rose and she turned around. "I don't know what you're talking about."_

 _The man came forward and threw some money on the table. "My son, John, is sick. Very sick. And there is medicine that could help him, but they won't give it to him. He's used up all the medical rations he can have right now."_

 _"Sir, that's not my problem."_

 _"Nigel, please. If there is anyone that can help, its you."_

 _"What are you gonna do for me?"_

 _The man started shuffling some more money. "I don't want_ _money." Nigel said, pushing it off the table. "What kinds of things do you have access to?"_

 _"What?"_

 _"Well, I'm not gonna risk skin if you're not."_

 _"I am risking the life of my son."_

 _"If you can't do anything to help me, then I guess I can't help you. Go on, Murphy."_

 _"Nigel."  
_

 _"Go. Before I get someone to go after you."_

 _The man looked at me with pleading eyes for a moment, but I turned my head away. It was times like these when I feared Nigel. He left the mess hall, tears falling down onto his shirt._

* * *

Bellamy looked over at me.

"Did she ever tell you about her days with Nigel?"

I squirmed once again.

"You see, my father was floated because he stole medicine. Medicine to save my life. He went to Nigel, first. And who was Nigel's right hand at the time?"

I looked down at the floor.

"And my father couldn't offer anything good enough to Nigel, so she didn't help him. And he did it by himself. And he got caught. All while she sat by."

"It sounds like whatever happened was just between him and Nigel?" Bellamy reasoned. "That has nothing to do with Hannah."

"Oh, it has lots to do with Hannah."

* * *

 _I snuck into Nigel's store room, knowing that her lackeys would be on break until before dinner. I also knew that they wouldn't question me being in here. Even still, my hands shook as I worked my way through the medicine. My hand finally grasped around a bottle of antibiotics. I snuck into my bag and walked out, crashing into Nigel._

 _"What are you doing in there girl?"_

 _"I was checking inventory." I quickly lied, stuffing my shaking hands into my pockets. "You know, just in case that Murphy dude decided to come back and take matters into his own hands."_

 _"He wouldn't get far."_

 _"But still," I said, shrugging. "Just wanted to check."_

 _Nigel looked at me warily, before jutting her chin forward. "Go on, get me my schedules."_

 _I nodded, before leaving the mess hall._

 _I snuck back into my father's office and looked up the residence charts. Upon finding the name, Murphy, I memorized the address and stuffed my father's papers back into his desk just as he left them before leaving._

 _My hands were sweating as I reached up to knock on the door._

 _Mr. Murphy opened it. As I really looked at his face, I noticed how his eyes were sunken in with exhaustion, frown lines forming, hair greying. I heard whimpering in the background._

 _He cleared his throat, shifting the block my view. "Nigel send you to mock me?"_

 _"No," I said. "She doesn't know I'm here."_

 _He gave me a confused glance. I reached into my bag and pulled out the antibiotics. "Will this help your son?"_

 _He slowly grabbed the bottle from me, looking it over. A look of surprise and relief washed over him. "Yes. How?"_

 _"Don't ask questions." I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm. "How do I thank you?"_

 _"Be good to your son." I said and left._

* * *

"Hannah?" Bellamy asked, looking at me.

"Shut up!" Murphy yelled. "Drag that stool over and stand on it, or I shoot her!"

Bellamy looked at me sympathetically before standing on the stool.

"Put it over your head."

"This is insane. The Grounders could-"

Murphy shot another stray, making all of us jump.

"Put it over your head."

Bellamy threw it over his head. "Happy now?"

Murphy just pulled on the straps, tightening the noose.

"You're so brave, aren't you?" Murphy began antagonizing. "I mean you came in here thinking you're just gonna turn this whole thing around, save your girl, thinking you were stronger than me, and maybe one of your friends would come and help you. Well what are you thinking now, Bellamy? Hmm?"

As Murphy continued talking, I slowly moved back and my hands grasped on a sharp nail, loose from the dropship wall. I began working my hands along the nail, trying to cut the bonds holding my wrists together.

Murphy tightly pulled on the strap holding Bellamy, causing him to be up on his toes. He began grunting as he choked, his fingers working his way around the noose. I tried to work faster.

"You know, I got to hand it to you Bellamy." Murphy continued taunting. "You got 'em all fooled. They actually look up to you, almost as much as they look up to Clarke. Yeah, well, we know the truth, don't we?"

"You're a coward." Murphy spat. "I learned that the day you kicked that crate from beneath me."

"I should've stopped them."

"Yeah its a little late for that now."

"You think they're just gonna let you walk out of here?"

"Well, I think the princess is dead... The king is about to die. His woman is gonna go next. So who's really gonna lead these people, huh? Me, that's who and maybe I'll have to kill your grounder-pounding little sister-"

Bellamy kicked forward and Murphy ran pulling on the rope holding Bellamy up even more.

We heard a spark and a yelp from below.

"I'm guessing that's her right now." Murphy began and started firing at random through the floor.

"No!" Bellamy yelled. He started struggling to get the nose free but Murphy kicked the stool from underneath him. Bellamy fell, swinging as he struggled.

"Using your hands is cheating," Murphy said. "Mine were bound." He ran up to move Bellamy's hands but Bellamy punched him. Murphy fell back but used the butt of his gun to hit Bellamy hard in the gut, knocking the wind out of him.

Murphy then walked over to me. "Your turn." He cocked the gun. But I had gotten my hands free and jumped up, tackling Murphy. He regained his composure after the surprise and punched me a few times.

The both of us froze when we heard the dropship door open, light pouring in.

"Raven you got it!" Jasper called from the outside.

Murphy quickly ran up to the top floor of the dropship. I tried to get up to follow but groaned in pain from the blows I took.

Jasper ran in and held Bellamy up while Octavia screamed. "Bell, hold on!"

Octavia ripped the seatbelt and Bellamy fell to the ground next to me.

"Bell, breathe." she pleaded, taking the noose off of him.

I reached my hand out and grasped onto his.

"Good, you're okay." Octavia said.

"Raven, he's fine!" Jasper called.

"Murphy!" Bellamy screamed, getting up and climbing the ladder. "Murphy! Its over!"

I had never seen Bellamy so mad.

"There's only one way out of this for you now!" he screamed, pushing up against the blocked hatch.

An explosion rocked the ship.

Bellamy finally pushed through the hatch, Jasper following behind him.

Octavia ran over to me. "Hannah, are you okay?" She quickly undid the bonds around my legs and pulled the gag from my mouth.

I cried out, and fell into Octavia's arms.

Bellamy and Jasper ran down the ladder and outside the door of the dropship. Octavia helped me up and lead me outside.

I faintly saw Clarke and Finn run inside.

"Where have you been? Where's Monty?" Jasper asked, hugging Clarke.

"Monty's gone?" she asked.

"Clarke, we need to leave now." Finn said. "All of us do. There's an army of grounders, unlike anything we've ever seen, coming for us right now. We need to pack what we can and run."

"Like hell we do." Bellamy answered. "We knew this was coming."

"Bell, we're not prepared." Octavia said, sitting me down and walking up to the group.

"And they're not here yet. We still have time to get ready. Besides where would we go? Where would we be safer than behind these walls?"

"There's an ocean to the east." Finn answered. "People there will help us."

"You saw Lincoln?" Octavia asked.

Finn nodded.

"You expect us to trust a grounder?"

Octavia glared.

"This is our home now." Bellamy said, addressing the group. "We built this from nothing with our bare hands. Our dead are buried behind that wall in this ground! Our ground! The grounders think they can take that away. They think that because we came from the sky, we don't belong here. But they're yet to realize one very important fact: we are on the ground now, and that means we are grounders!"

"Grounders with guns!"

"Damn right! I say let 'em come!" Bellamy called out.

"Bellamy's right." Clarke said. "If we leave, we may never find a place as safe as this. And God knows, in this world, we could be faced with something even worse tomorrow. But that doesn't change the simple fact, that if we stay here, we will die tonight. So pack your things. Just take what you can carry. Now."

"Help," We hear. "Help me!"

Looking around we see Raven emerge from behind the dropship, her hands bloody as she holds pressure onto her abdomen.

"Murphy shot her." Jasper says.

"Get her inside." Clarke says and Finn lifts her up, bringing her inside.

Bellamy walks up to Clarke and they begin arguing.

* * *

 _I walked up to Nigel in the mess hall with updated guard's schedules. She took them from me saying, "John Murphy Senior will be floated today."_

 _"What?" I asked._

 _"I noticed some antibiotics missing from my supply," she said turning to look at me. "I knew none of my own people would take them" I froze. "So I figured it would be Murphy."_

 _"Nigel, what are you saying?"_

 _"I'm saying, you better be happy I still have use for you." Nigel said, grabbing me. "Otherwise you'd be in the box."_

 _I swallowed hard, puling myself from her grip._

 _"All this rationing, supplying, denying. We're just delaying the inevitable." Nigel said before looking at me. "Now beat it."_

* * *

I get up and walk outside the wall to the graveyard. I look out at the fourteen graves. I think of Charlotte, her body broken and decaying at the bottom of that cliff. I think of Atom, burned from the acid fog. I think of Dax, caught up with the wrong people. Tears begin to spill.

"You're outside of the wall without a gun." Bellamy says, coming to stand next to me. Two other boys with guns stand ahead of us.

"Fourteen graves." I say.

"Hannah," Bellamy says taking my hand. "You saved us back at the bridge. You gave us a chance."

"Delaying the inevitable."

"Don't think like that."

I shrug. "I don't know Bellamy. Maybe this is just the way I am."

"Hannah." he pleads again.

"You know, Bellamy." I turn and place my hands on his shoulders. "We're all dying. One way or another. And this was some great little adventure we all had, but there's no use hoping. We delayed the inevitable." I look out past the graves into the forest.

Bellamy looks at me with sadness in his eyes.

"Fourteen graves." I say once again and turn and go back into camp. "Soon to be a hundred."


	18. Chapter 18

I walked from the graveyard into my tent and I just lay in my bed. I hear people calling out orders, doubling guard shifts, while others gathered supplies.

 _Delaying the inevitable,_ I thought and rolled over to my other side.

"Hannah?" Octavia says walking back into my tent. "What are you doing? There's a lot to do to get ready."

"I don't feel well." I lie.

"Should I get Clarke?"

"No. She's with Raven."

Octavia paused and I know she didn't believe me.

I rolled over once again and pulled my blankets up to my chin.

* * *

 _"You know I take care of you right, Hannah?" Nigel said to me._

 _"Of course." I mutter, still feeling fearful after the Murphy situation._

 _"Look at me," she said, grabbing my chin and forcing it upwards._

 _I nod again. She looks at me for a moment, pursing her lips before dropping her grip._

 _"Officer Shumway has asked to see you in his_ _quarters."_

 _"Shumway?"_

 _"Did I say a different name?"_

 _"No, sorry, so what does he want?"_

 _"I think there is something you can do to help him. Bring these to him as well." Nigel reached into her pocket and pulled out some bullets._

 _"Nigel," I said taking them carefully in my hand._

 _"Don't ask questions."_

 _I nod, slipping them into a pocket in my jumper._

 _"I'll go see Shumway this evening."_

 _Nigel nodded._

* * *

"Hannah." Octavia said, coming into our tent once again.

"I know," I said.

"I'm getting Clarke."

"No!" I said, bolting up. "I'm fine, Octavia really."

"That's the most you've moved," she said before leaving the tent.

I laid back down and stared up at the tent ceiling.

"I'm worried, Bell," I heard Octavia say outside the tent.

I continued staring overhead.

"Hannah," Bellamy said walking into the tent.

"No," I groaned, pulling the blankets up to my chin.

I felt the bed dip as Bellamy sat down and placed an arm across my back.

"Hannah," he whispered once again. "You haven't packed anything. We have to go."

"What's the point? The grounders are just going to come and kill us."

"Hannah, they'll kill us if we don't fight back."

"How can we fight back?!" I said sitting up. "The Ark has been radio silent since it went out on Unity Day. The Exodus ship crashed. They're all dead. No one is going to help us. And what if we don't even deserve to be helped?"

"What is this really about Hannah?" Bellamy asked, taking my hand in his.

"No matter what, I'm always going to be hurting people. I ruined Murphy's life."

"Murphy wasn't your fault. You were trying to help. Murphy's dad's blood is on Nigel's hands, not yours." Bellamy said.

I shook my head. "I can never escape my past. Never. I'm always going to be bad. I'm always going to be one of Nigel's bitches."

"Hannah, what happened?" Bellamy asked, taking my hand. "Tell me."

* * *

 _"Officer Shumway," I said knocking on his door. "You wanted to see me?"_

 _I was surprised to see him out of his uniform. "Come in, Hannah."_

 _I followed his invitation and stepped inside._

 _I noticed a bottle of red wine on the table with two glasses._

 _"Did Nigel send you with anything?"_

 _"Yes sir," I said, reaching into my pocket and pulling out the bullets._

 _"You don't need to worry about the formalities, Hannah." he said, taking the bullets. His fingers lingered around my hand._

 _"Sorry, sir- I mean."_

 _Shumway squeezed my hand lightly before taking it and leading me to the table._

 _"Wow," I said sitting down._

 _"Have you ever had red wine?"_

 _"I don't know if my father would approve."_

 _"What your father doesn't know..." Shumway said, bringing a smile from me._

 _"So what do_ _you need?"_

 _"Let's get to that later, first let's have a drink. I'll fix them for you." He took the glasses and walked away, putting the bullets in his pocket._

 _I looked around the sitting room we were in. It was quite nice. "My father likes to keep our living quarters to a more modest standard." I said._

 _"Yeah?" Shumway said, walking back and placing the glass before me._

 _I nodded. "We're comfortable and have everything we need, but we don't live extravagantly."_

 _"Well a little luxury is nice sometimes, isn't it?" he asked before raising his glass. "Let's toast."_

 _I smiled shyly, raising my own glass. "To you, Hannah." Shumway said and we clinked our glasses. I took a sip, the rich red liquid sending a dizzying rush to my mind._

 _"How do you like it?"_

 _"Its strong," I answered, placing my glass on the table. "But my father says that I should always keep my wits about me. I want to be in the guard some day."_

 _Shumway laughed and I gave him a questioning look._

 _"Are you planning on being a double agent?" he asked._

 _"I don't understand..." I said._

 _"You work for Nigel. Don't expect to make it so easy into the guard."_

 _"Why not?"_

 _"There are eyes everywhere, Hannah. Mine are one set. An important set. And they see your potential. But they also see your mistakes. I can erase those mistakes, Hannah. Or I can bring them to public light."_

 _"What do you want me to do?"_

 _Shumway came and knelt in front of me. "I'm not that much older than you and I've gotten quite far on the ship."_

 _He leaned in and placed his lips on mine. "I can't pay you in money," he whispered. "But I can pay you for this with something even better."_

 _Heat rushed to my cheeks and I got swept up in the moment and found myself kissing him back. Boldly, passionately, without reservation or fear. It was like another Hannah took over in that moment..._

 _Until I woke up the next morning, knowing that my innocence and dignity was gone. I looked over at Shumway's sleeping form before slipping into my clothes and walking back to the mess hall._

 _"What the hell, Nigel?"_

 _"How was your night, sweet girl?"_

 _"Screw you."_

 _"You're not my type."_

 _"Nigel. How could you?"_

 _"Girl, do you still want to be in the guard?"_

 _I nodded. "Well, you'll never make it if you keep up that prudish attitude. No matter what you do," she said standing over me. "Or where you go," she was walking me into a corner. "You will always be mine."_

 _"I'm done." I said to her._

 _"You'll regret that."_

 _But I didn't care. I was going to make sure no had me ever again._

 _I ran quickly back to my father and mine's living quarters and locked myself in the bathroom with one of my father's razors._

* * *

Tears were freely falling when I finished and Bellamy just stared in shock.

"See?" I said, pulling my hands out from his. "I mean I was arrested with charges of _prostitution,_ Bellamy. I didn't even actually have sex with Shumway. Nigel probably made that up. But no matter what, I'm repulsive."

"Hannah," Bellamy said, grabbing them again. "You're not. Everything that has happened to you, that's not all your fault. You were a kid."

"Bellamy you're wasting your time on me," I said, rolling over in my bed. "Just leave me."

"No way." Bellamy said, pulling the covers off and lifting me up. "You have fought too hard to give up."

I leaned in and pressed a kiss deep onto Bellamy's lips. "I love you, Bellamy." I said. "And this has been a beautiful adventure. But we're done."

I closed my eyes and rolled over into my cot, pulling the blankets close up to my chin. Part of me wanted Bellamy to fight back, throw me over his shoulder and carry me out. But the bigger part of me wanted to just stay here.

Bellamy chose to fight.

Next thing I know, I am being slung over his shoulder and he is carrying me outside. "Let's go!" he yelled, still holding tightly to me.

The gate to our camp opened slowly and we began our march out into the forest. The remaining members of the 100 were holding tightly to various weapons and looking around themselves as walked through the woods.

"Bellamy, put me down." I said, hitting him on his back.

"Can I trust you to not do anything stupid?"

"We already are doing something stupid." I said but I felt him slide me off of his shoulder.

"Listen," he said grabbing my shoulders. "I do not agree with what everyone is doing right now. We had something back at camp, a civilization, an order about things..."

"A home." I finished.

He nodded. "I wanted to stay and defend that. But Clarke thought that this was the better choice. So I'm swallowing my pride on this one, okay?"

"I'm sorry." I said, taking his hand. "For earlier. It wasn't me talking it was-"

"I know," Bellamy said, squeezing my hand and continuing to walk with the group. "We all have our days. But you're a fighter. Don't let your past ruin you."

I nodded. "I love you Bellamy-"

All of a sudden some whooshed right past my face. I felt a slice against my cheek before hearing a thud. I turned around and saw a young blonde boy with a throwing blade lodged into his face. I reached up to touch my cheek and pulled away a bloody hand.

I looked up to Bellamy.

"Everyone get back to camp!" He barked and we all began to run.

We pushed and shoved, running like wild prey terrified by the face of our hunter.

And as we were running I realized that this is exactly what the grounders wanted.

"Okay Bellamy," Clarke said approaching us once we were safe inside the walls of our camp. "Looks like you get your fight. Now how the hell do we do this?"


	19. Chapter 19

"Ok, then." Bellamy called out, addressing the group of delinquents who were all nervously pacing and arguing before Bellamy got their attention.

They all turned and stopped.

"This is what we've been preparing for." Bellamy said. "Kill them before they kill us." Bellamy continued barking out orders as I slowly touched the wound of my cheek. Blood was already starting to clot and dry. I quickly grabbed a cloth and dipped it into some water washing the blood that had dripped down my cheek. I looked up to see Bellamy calling me over to him and Clarke as they entered the drop ship; joining the injured Raven and Finn.

"We've got 25 rifles with 20 rounds each, give or take. Roughly 500 rounds of ammo. While you all were gone, we made some improvements. Thanks to Raven, the gully is mined." Bellamy said pointing some things out on the model of our camp.

"Partially mined." Raven groaned. "Thanks to Murphy."

"Still it's the main route in. If the Grounders use it, we'll know."

"What are these?" Clarke asked picking up a small metal cylinder. "Grenades?"

Bellamy nodded. "There's not many." Clarke replied.

"Again," Raven answered. "Thank you, Murphy."

"If the Grounders make it through the gate we use the guns and grenades to keep them back." Bellamy said.

"And what if that doesn't work?" I ask.

"We come in the dropship, close the door, and pray." Raven replied.

"The dropship is not going to keep them out." I say.

"Then let's not let them get through the gate." Bellamy answered before picking up his walkie. "All foxholes, keep your eyes and ears open. Try to inflict as many casualties. Hopefully we can pick enough off to make them turn back."

"That's always your plan," Finn complained. "Like the bomb at the bridge."

"Yeah." Bellamy answered point blank. "Gotta better one?"

I noticed Clarke looking off at the wall of the dropship, whispering to herself. "It can't be that simple."

"What, Clarke?" I ask.

She turns to Raven. "You said there's fuel in those rockets, right? Enough to build 100 bombs."

"I also said we got no gunpowder left." She replied.

"I don't want to build a bomb." Clarke said and I caught on.

"You want us to launch?" I ask.

"Draw them in close. Fire the rockets. A ring of fire." Raven said.

"Barbecued grounders. I like it." Bellamy replies and I roll my eyes.

"Will it work?" Finn asks.

"The wiring is a mess down there," Raven begins. "You give me enough time, I'll cook them good."

In just a few minutes Clarke and Finn are under the ship and I'm sitting with Raven helping her with some of the wiring.

"How you holding up?" I ask, gesturing to her side.

"We're just lucky Murphy shot me and not those tanks." She replies continuing to fiddle with some wires.

"Raven."

"It hurts like hell, Hannah. And I hate this not being allowed to do anything thing. I would have all this done," she continues gesturing to the wires. "If I could just go down there and do it all myself."

"Raven, we can't find the ignition system!" Clarke calls but Raven's face pales.

"Raven?" I ask.

"Raven?!" Finn and Clarke call.

"I can't feel my legs," she says softly at first. "I can't feel my legs!"

"Hold on," Clarke says. "We're coming."

Clarke and Finn both emerge from the hatch and Clarke has Raven bend over to look at her back. She cries out in pain and she bends.

When Clarke lifts Raven's shirt, she is horrified. Finn and I come around to see Raven's deeply bruised lower back.

"That bad, huh?" she groans.

Clarke has her sit back again.

"Raven," she says softly. "The bullets in your spine. You're bleeding internally."

Raven and Finn share an intense and sorrowful look before Raven swallows back her emotions. "We better do this fast then."

"What if we can slow the bleeding?" Finn asks. "Would that help?"

"Of course it would help." Clarke answers flatly. "But how are we gonna do that?"

"The stuff the grounders had, umm—"

"Coagulant. Lincoln had some." I respond. "In the box with the antiodote."

"I'm betting that there's more of it in his cave." Finn answers. "If I can get there—

"Wait a second." Raven interrupts. "No. I'm not gonna let you die to save me."

"How about you let me save everybody else?" Finn asks. "Raven you're the only one who can fire those rockets." He pauses getting up for a second. "I'll be right back."

"Wait!" Clarke calls running after him as Raven and I look at each other sadly.

"Finn I'll go with you!" I call. "That way if something happens we can be sure the medicine gets back here."

"Hannah, no." Clarke pleads.

"Clarke I'm doing this." I say before turning to Finn. "Let's go."


	20. Chapter 20

Finn and I quickly and quietly snuck through the forest, not daring to breath a single word to each other for fear of a Grounder finding us. Halfway to Lincoln's cave we heard the drums. "We have to move faster." Finn said and I nodded.

We kept running with the drums in the distance until we finally found ourselves at Lincoln's cave.

"What did the medicine look like?" I ask.

"It was clear, in a small vial." Finn answers and we begin digging through the Grounder's belongings.

As we violently searched, a strange feeling started to crawl up my back. I froze for a moment before sharply spinning around. "Lincoln!" I exclaim in surprise, seeing him before me with a dagger drawn.

"Lincoln?" Finn asks turning around. "You made it!"

"Made it?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"I thought I told you to leave!" Lincoln yells at Finn.

"We tried but the scouts were already there." Finn explains.

Some muffled yelling comes in over Finn's radio. Lincoln gives us a questioning glance.

"Why are you not back there fighting?"

"We need medicine for Raven. She was shot and we need to slow the bleeding." I explain.

"You came here to save one life?" Lincoln yells again.

"We don't have time to explain," Finn cuts in. "Do you have the medicine or not?"

Lincoln nods and grabs a pouch. He pulls out a vial and gives it to Finn to slip into his bag.

"Let's go, I'm coming with you." Lincoln says and heads towards the entrance.

"Wait!" Finn exclaims causing both Lincoln and I to stop. "I have a really bad idea."

"What?" Lincoln asks.

Finn holds up a sketch of a drawing of a Grounder, but the face paint is in a different pattern; one I hadn't seen before.

"How far did the Reapers chase you?" Finn asks.

"Reapers?" I ask.

"They'd still be chasing me if I didn't lose them! Why?!" Lincoln responds.

"What's a Reaper?"

"Pray you never meet one." Lincoln responds.

"That doesn't answer my-"

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend." Finn responds, cutting me off.

"That's a horrible idea, Finn. We'll all be killed." Lincoln responds.

 _"If we fall back, they take the gate and its game over!"_ Bellamy's muffled voice comes in over the radio.

"We don't have any better options." Finn responds.

"I still don't know what these things are but if they're going to help us, then we should do it." I add on.

* * *

Next thing I know Lincoln, Finn and I are hidden behind some trees looking out at a group of Grounders surrounding a fire. They look gruesome with their strange piercings and mangled appearance.

"They look like gothic Grounders," I whisper.

"Reapers are Grounders used by the Mountain Men. Cannibals. Horrible creatures." Lincoln explains. "I still think this is a horrible idea."

"So we draw them out and have them chase us to our camp?" I ask.

Finn nods. "Ready?"

"Nope," I snort. "But why the hell not?"

Slowly I stand up. "HEY! WANT SOME SKY BACON?"

The Reapers all stand and turn towards us. They start whooping and cheering. Making eye contact with one, I am filled with terror.

"Run." I choke, but find myself frozen.

Lincoln grabs my arm and drags me until I find my footing and begin running along side him.

Their cheering and gross gargles and noises follow up until I see the fires of our beloved camp. I want nothing more than to snuggle up in my tent next to Bellamy but my life is far from that right now. If I didn't keep hearing Bellamy call over the radio I wouldn't even know he was alive.

As we round the corner I see Anya speaking with another Grounder. Upon hearing the Reapers they look up, stunned. Lincoln, Finn, and I jump into the bushes as the Grounders and Reapers begin to fight against each other.

Finn, Lincoln, and I are about to duck into one of the foxholes when I see Bellamy lay Octavia against a tree. I grab Lincoln's arm and pull him towards them.

"Octavia?" Lincoln asks, kneeling down and drawing her into his chest.

"Bellamy, what happened?" I ask.

"She got hit by an arrow." Bellamy explains. He gestures to the Reapers. "Did you do this?"

"We did it with Finn." I explain.

Lincoln looks down at Octavia's leg, touching the broken part of the arrow. She lets out a grunt of pain. "Its deep."

Lincoln looks around him for a moment, calculating something, before turning back to us. "I can help you but you have to come with me now."

Octavia looks to Bellamy. "Go," he says. "Let him help."

"No way." Octavia says. "I have to see this through."

"You can't walk and I can't get you back to the dropship."

"He's right." I say. "This fight is over for you. Go with Lincoln."

She lays her head back on the tree.

"O," Bellamy says a few times. "Listen to me. I told you my life ended the day you were born."

I think back to the harsh argument they had. That feels like years ago.

"The truth is," Bellamy continues. "It didn't start until then. So go with him. I need you to live. Besides, I got this." Bellamy breathes out a small laugh and I can tell he's fighting back tears.

"Octavia," I whisper and I throw my arms around my best friend. "I'll see you soon."

"Keep fighting, Hannah. No matter what."

I nod, choking back tears and we break apart.

Octavia turns again and clings tightly to her brother. "I love you big brother." she whispers to him.

"May we meet again." Bellamy says, brushing the hair from her forehead.

"May we meet again." she responds.

Bellamy and Lincoln lift her up before Lincoln cradles her in his arms.

Bellamy and Lincoln locks eyes. "Keep her safe." Bellamy says. Octavia's face crumples and I have to look away. I hear her let out a sob as Lincoln carries her away from the fight.

"Bellamy," I whisper and touch his arm.

"I'm fine." he whispers, a tear rolling down his cheek. "We have to win this."

"To the wall!" we hear the Grounders scream.

Bellamy and I sink down behind the big tree.

"How are we gonna get back to the wall?" I ask.

"I don't know if we will." Bellamy responds, grabbing onto my hand.

"We didn't come this far to die here, Bellamy."

"But theres still a chance our friends will."

"Bellamy," I whisper but he cuts me off with a deep kiss.

"Hannah! Bellamy!" I hear Clarke call from a distance.

"We have to try to get back behind the wall." I say.

Grabbing my hand once again, Bellamy and I run. We hear Grounders scream and the last efforts of our people throwing grenades and shooting their last bullets from their guns.

I lock eyes with Clarke. "Hurry!" she calls but then her eyes widen. I turn around behind me and see the large Grounder grab Bellamy and punch him in the face. Bellamy shoves me forward and I am caught by Finn who then pushes me back towards Clarke. "No!" I cry out as Finn and Bellamy run forward to fight off the Grounder.

Looking around, the Grounders begin to close in and I know we have to get into the dropship. But I also know that I will not be able to live without Bellamy. We can't do this without him.

Miller grabs Clarke and I, and drags us into the dropship. I lock eyes one more time with Bellamy and I am taken behind the curtains.

I see Clarke pull the lever up to close the door with tears in her eyes.

As the door closes, the Grounder Anya jumps in.

"You can't win." Clarke says to her before looking back at Jasper. "Now!"

Jasper flicks the switch and nothing happens. "No." he whispers flicking the switch back and forth a few times.

Anya charges forward to fight us but Miller smacks her on the head with the butt of his gun. Delinquents charge in and begin kicking at the fallen woman.

Jasper begins taking apart a lamp and rips open the controller to the dropship.

Miller raises his dagger to stab Anya but Clarke grabs his arm.

The Grounders outside begin pounding on the sides of the ship.

"No!" Clarke yells. "We are not Grounders."

Jasper takes two wires and presses them around the insides of the controller.

We feel the blast and hear screams all around us as the ship lifts itself off the ground.

We stay in the air for a few seconds before dropping back down to the ground.

We wait in silence for a few seconds before Clarke opens the door.

I look over at the lever and think back to when Bellamy opened up the dropship door so long ago. His hair was slicked back and he was wearing that guard jacket. We all ran out the door in an excited frenzy after Octavia first stepped onto the soft grass.

Now when we opened the door, it looked like a whole different Earth. The ground was black and bones were littered everywhere. Almost reflective of how we've all had to grow darker as we fought to survive. And now we had just massacred 300 people.

"What did we do?" I whispered.

"We did what we had to in order to survive." Clarke whispered. "And we have to keep going. Or Bellamy and Finn died in vain."

I grab onto her hand and swallow back tears. We slowly step onto the hard and crunchy ashen ground, stepping over skulls and bones as we do so.

All of a sudden, canisters with red smoke come tossing over the remainder of the wall. We all begin to cough as the sinister looking smoke gets into our eyes, mouths, and lungs.

"Mountain men," I hear Anya choke out.

My vision blurs as men wearing masks and suits come running into our camp. As I fall to the ground, I feel one of them drag me up over their shoulders.

I am too weak to fight back.


End file.
